[RedRaven]

THE INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL OF MAN LAWS

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following
circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her
Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally
killed and eaten by his friends.

4 : If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister
is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

5:Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is
forbidden.
However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly
optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the
birthday boy's choice.

7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops,
not the weakest.

8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event,
you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask
whose playing..

9: You may f@rt in front of a woman only after you have brought
her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's
officially your girlfriend.

10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless
model and only when it's free.

11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you
allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

13:Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.

15: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated
as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to
drink as much as the other sports watchers.

16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman
must remain sober enough to fight.

17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice
of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

18: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be
talking about his choice of beer.

19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of
yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you
need.

21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on
longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the
phone.
Hang up if necessary.

22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a
friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling
weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again
before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not
acceptable for her to drive yours.

24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink,
lime, green, orange or sky blue. - The person who included this is to be tied to the back of a 440 and dragged throught down town Detroit at high speed...naked.

25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for
Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!'
gets an Xbox
360 End of story.

26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.

27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do
you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you
informed, the definition of each is listed below:

' GUTS ' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,
being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say,
'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'

' BALLS ' is coming home late after a night out with the guys
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your
wife square on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next
fatty!'


I hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Man Laws

[dave-r]

Yep. I can agree with (and have observed on many occasions) most if not all of those.

[Eddie]

I really loved the very last one! (I would be smelling of old transmission fluid, sliced up hands, reeking of tobacco juice and cheap Hoosier Cigars)