===============================================================================
MICHELLE TUOHY entered SHAMpage v3.22 on 08-19-1992 at 20:55:17
SHAMpage is using SHAMpage.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Damn! Who let YOU in here, Michelle?
Michelle: hi
SHAMpage: I never give greetings at this time of day!
Michelle: giggle so whats up
SHAMpage: It's 8:55pm, do you know where your mind is?
Michelle: so do your feet still smell?
SHAMpage: Right. I think I hear your mother calling you.
Michelle: x
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Michelle.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 20:56:11
===============================================================================
WILLIAM SMITH entered SHAMpage v3.22 on 08-19-1992 at 22:47:53
SHAMpage is using SHAMpage.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Yawn! What time is it, William?
William: bye
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, William.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 22:48:10
===============================================================================
RENE ALMAGUER entered SHAMpage v3.22 on 08-19-1992 at 23:15:11
SHAMpage is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Rich is asleep. This is the computer taking over, Rene.
Rene: That's pretty cool. I just called to say hey and ask a ton of questions
, likehow did you set your machine up to answer a call while you were asleep. I
 hope you get this message. I'm not sure you will. Thanks.
SHAMpage: Come back in 10 years when you're all grown up!
Rene: Gee thanks Wally!
SHAMpage: You're welcome.
Rene: Is this the machine talkin or Rich?
SHAMpage: You're the jerk sitting there conversing with a dumb machine!
Rene: Your pretty cool.
SHAMpage: Silence is golden. So shut up and get rich!
Rene: I'll let you rest you're circuits now Mr. Computer.
SHAMpage: No, this is a real live human being you are chatting with, Rene.
Rene: I thought you were asleep?
SHAMpage: Do you have ANY idea what time it is?
Rene: No not really, My electricity was cut off yesterday and my sun dial doe
s'nt work at night for some reason. What time is it?
SHAMpage: When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
Rene: How long have you been doing this stuff?
SHAMpage: Bozos. I am surrounded by Bozos!
Rene: Stop. You're killing me!
SHAMpage: What am I DOING here at 11:23pm???
Rene: How should I know. How does one down load a file into my system using t
his newfangled thing called a Modem?
SHAMpage: Maybe if you tried uploading something WORTHWHILE for a change.
Rene: Good point. It sounds like you're kinda tired of this game.
SHAMpage: The Ferengi destroyed all my on line games last night...
Rene: Should I ask what the Ferengi is?
SHAMpage: It's 11:26pm, do you know where your mind is?
Rene: I've known you for ten minutes and I already like the way you think'
SHAMpage: What would you like me to do to make you feel happy, Rene?
Rene: How many have you had tonight? gollod thing you're not driving any heav
y machinary huh?
SHAMpage: How? Are you some kinda Injun or something?
Rene: Injun? what's an Injun?
SHAMpage: No kidding!
Rene: Hey dude, I must answer a call to the sandman. It's been a real Pleasur
e rappin to ya.
SHAMpage: I'm a machine all right. A pretty darn SMART one!
Rene: I figured that much. So am I. Chow.
SHAMpage: Right. I think we should both be in bed, sound asleep.
Rene: As long as it's not the same bed.
SHAMpage: Are you just being negative?
Rene: Don't tell me you queer too? It seems most of you BBS ops are.
SHAMpage: No, BBS doesn't stand for "Big Black Stud"!
Rene: That must be the password. I'm outa here.see ya.
SHAMpage: But what about MY feelings, Rene?
User dropped carrier on 08-19-1992 at 23:33:06
===============================================================================
ALAN FREESE entered SHAMpage v3.22 on 08-20-1992 at 17:26:58
SHAMpage is using SHAMpage.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: I don't care WHO you are Alan! Get those reindeer off my roof!
Alan: why cant i down-load
SHAMpage: Did you just ask me why? Why?
Alan: yes
SHAMpage: That's easy for you to say, Alan.
Alan: later
SHAMpage: It's 5:28pm, do you know where your mind is?
Alan: yes
SHAMpage: That's "si" to you. You're in South Florida now!
Alan: why dosent the file menu have a download on it
SHAMpage: Hit [Alt] H to get to the File Menu.
Alan: ok thanks
SHAMpage: Any time...
Alan: ok how do i get out of here
SHAMpage: If I knew how, I wouldn't be here farting around with YOU.
Alan: HOW DO WE GET OUT OF CHATTING?
SHAMpage: How??? Kawabunga!
Alan: CAN YOU GET ME OUT OF HERE
SHAMpage: Sure.
Alan: WILL  YOU
SHAMpage: Why do you say that, Alan?
Alan: SO I CAN TRY To dOwNlOaD!
SHAMpage: If I knew, I wouldn't tell you, Alan.
Alan: WHY NOT RICH
SHAMpage: Are you just being negative?
Alan: NO
SHAMpage: You're being contrary and obnoxious again.
Alan: YES
SHAMpage: I forgot the question. What were we talking about?
Alan: WHY I CANT DOWNLOAD?
SHAMpage: You want a good program, read TV Guide.
Alan: HAHAHAH
SHAMpage: You think that's funny? Try looking in the mirror, Alan!
Alan: YOU CRACK ME UPPPPPPPPPP!!!
SHAMpage: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to b
e
SHAMpage: sticking.
Alan: NO ITS JUST FINE
SHAMpage: Oh, gee Alan, smile a little. Loosen up. Maybe you'll get lucky.
Alan: YOUR FUNN,DO YOU SURF?
SHAMpage: What am I DOING here???
Alan: BEATS THE HELL OUT OF ME
SHAMpage: Who cares about you as a person, anyway?
Alan: EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHAMpage: Got a sticky key there, Alan?
Alan: YEP SURE DO
SHAMpage: Yes? Are you THAT easy?
Alan: YOU TELL ME YOUR THE SYSOP
SHAMpage: Don't you have anything INTERESTING to talk about, Alan?
Alan: NOT REALLY NOTHING BUT SURFING
SHAMpage: I disagree.
Alan: WHY
SHAMpage: Because that's the way it is.
Alan: GOTTA STICKY KEY THARE,RICH?
SHAMpage: OK Alan. Now, tell me about your favorite X-Rated GIF.
Alan: MEEEEEEE?
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a normal human being.
Alan: HAYIM ONLY 15
SHAMpage: Right. I think I hear your mother calling you.
Alan: MOTTT
SHAMpage: I'm not sure I understand.
Alan: MY MAMA AINT HOME
SHAMpage: You really have a point there. Wear a hat and it won't show.
Alan: WHAT?
SHAMpage: No kidding!
Alan: IS IT HARD BEING A SYSOP?
SHAMpage: Hey, I'm out of bed and almost dressed. What the hell more do you
SHAMpage: want?
Alan: JUST WONDERING BECOUSE IM THINKING OF STARTING A BBS !
SHAMpage: What's this "BBS" thing you keep talking about, Alan?
Alan: OK RIGHT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT  A "BBs"IS
SHAMpage: You don't like it here Alan, call the Onyx BBS!
Alan: WHY?
SHAMpage: Sometimes there is no reason. Shit Happens.
Alan: TRUE
SHAMpage: Like I care...
Alan: NO BUT FOREAL HOW HARD IS IT TO START A BBS
SHAMpage: I could've BBS'ed all night...
Alan: WELL I HAFT TO GO ILL CALL BACK LATER AND CHAT SOME MORE!
SHAMpage: I don't know.
Alan: LATER DUDE
SHAMpage: Bodacious!
Alan: BYE!!!!
SHAMpage terminated normally at 17:48:15
===============================================================================
MARLON BAILEY entered SHAMpage v3.24 on 09-04-1992 at 20:51:17
SHAMpage is using SHAMpage.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: What are you doing here, Marlon?
Marlon: Is this shampage?
SHAMpage: Hell no. Do you think a bogus chat door could type multiple lines
SHAMpage: line this?
SHAMpage: or this?
Marlon: Heh how do I get my time exteed in the pit?
SHAMpage: How? Are you some kinda Injun or something?
Marlon: No!
SHAMpage: Why do you say that, Marlon?
Marlon: This is shampage!
SHAMpage: No, this is really really me!
Marlon: Thenh you'd now what pit was!
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a normal human being.
Marlon: Yup this is shampge it used the same line like last night kill this p
rogram and find a human sysop!
SHAMpage: Sure I'm human. I just think like a computer.
Marlon: What's the no. of this board?
SHAMpage: The source code is on drive B:
Marlon: quit
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Marlon.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 20:55:46
===============================================================================
RICH WAUGH (Age 44), Fort Lauderdale, FL entered SHAMpage on 05-02 at 19:36
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: So your love life stinks too, huh, Rich?
Rich: yes
SHAMpage: That's "si" to you. You're in South Florida now!
Rich: sure how are you
SHAMpage: If I knew how, I wouldn't be here farting around with YOU.
Rich: fuck much
SHAMpage: Is that the same mouth you use to kiss your mother?
Rich: do you like it in the ass
SHAMpage: Nobody likes a smart ASS, Rich!
Rich: so what new
SHAMpage: Right. It's too late to think straight. Try calling (305) 523-1717.
Rich: who
SHAMpage: I'll give you three guesses.
Rich: 1 2 3 
SHAMpage: Do you have ANY idea what time it is?
Rich: 7
SHAMpage: Huh?
Rich: 7 pm
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a wide awake person.
Rich: ok
SHAMpage: Yes? Are you THAT easy?
Rich: sure how bout you
SHAMpage: How? Are you some kinda Injun or something?
Rich: q
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Rich.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 19:39
===============================================================================
SYSOP (Age 94), WOODSTOCK,IL entered SHAMpage on 06-21 at 17:17
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: It's 5:17pm, this better be important, Sysop!
Sysop: HELLO
SHAMpage: I never give greetings in the afternoon!
Sysop: SORRY
SHAMpage: Sorry? No, I prefer backgammon, myself...
Sysop: OK
SHAMpage: I forgot the question. What were we talking about?
Sysop: SEX
SHAMpage: Remember when safe sex meant locking the car door?
Sysop: YES BUT ANAL SEX
SHAMpage: I was in the middle of some LIVE sex when you paged me, Sysop!
Sysop: OPPS
SHAMpage: It's 5:17pm, do you know where your mind is?
Sysop: OOPS
SHAMpage: Why do you say that, Sysop?
Sysop: I INTERUPTED
SHAMpage: Right. It's too late to think straight. Try calling              .
Sysop: Q
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Sysop.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 17:18
===============================================================================
TONY DZIEWIONTKA (Age 94), MCHENRY,ILLINOIS entered SHAMpage on 06-21 at 19:06
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: So your love life stinks too, huh, Tony?
Tony: what?
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a wide awake person.
Tony: oh, a new toy?
SHAMpage: Do you have ANY idea what time it is?
Tony: no
SHAMpage: Oh, gee Tony, smile a little. Loosen up. Maybe you'll get lucky.
Tony: this is cool
SHAMpage: Come back in 10 years when you're all grown up!
Tony: you wish!
SHAMpage: Why do you say that, Tony?
Tony: i dunno
SHAMpage: Like I care at this hour...
Tony: hey
SHAMpage: I have a hard time thinking straight at this hour.
Tony: hewhllat do u want me todo about it
SHAMpage: Me, me, me... is that all you ever think about?
Tony: alright, i get the idea
SHAMpage: No kidding!
Tony: q
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Tony.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 19:08
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MATT SCHERER (Age 94), WONDER LAKE entered SHAMpage on 06-21 at 19:45
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: What the heck do YOU want at 7:45pm, Matt?
Matt: this program is bulshit!! j/k
SHAMpage: To get good programs around here, you need cable.
Matt: bye
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Matt.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 19:46
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MATT SCHERER (Age 94), WONDER LAKE entered SHAMpage on 06-24 at 22:22
SHAMpage v3.55 is using SHAMpage.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Damn! It's just you, Matt... I was hoping it was Kathy Willets!
Matt: q
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Matt.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 22:22
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MATT SCHERER (Age 94), WONDER LAKE entered SHAMpage on 06-29 at 23:10
SHAMpage v3.55 is using SHAMpage.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Yawn! What time is it, Matt?
Matt: I don't know
SHAMpage: OK Matt. Now, tell me about your favorite X-Rated GIF.
Matt: 
SHAMpage: Try again, Matt.
Matt: dx
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a normal human being.
Matt: x
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Matt.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 23:11
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MATT SCHERER (Age 94), WONDER LAKE entered SHAMpage on 07-02 at 00:48
SHAMpage v3.55 is using SHAMpage.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: How did I get here, and WHO are YOU, Matt?
Matt: shut up
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a normal human being.
Matt: no way 
SHAMpage: You're being contrary and obnoxious again.
Matt: l8ter
SHAMpage: OK Matt. Now, tell me about your favorite X-Rated GIF.
Matt: no
SHAMpage: Oh, gee Matt, smile a little. Loosen up. Maybe you'll get lucky.
Matt: what ever you say
SHAMpage: Why do you say that, Matt?
Matt: because
SHAMpage: What am I DOING here???
Matt: nothing
SHAMpage: Are you just being negative?
Matt: yes
SHAMpage: Yes? Are you THAT easy?
Matt: hell no!
SHAMpage: Right. I think I hear your mother calling you.
Matt: f*ck you!
SHAMpage: No kidding!
Matt: bye
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Matt.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 00:50
===============================================================================
MARK BRADSHAW (Age 94), HARVARD, IL entered SHAMpage on 07-04 at 22:26
SHAMpage v3.55 is using SHAMpage.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Geesh Mark, I let ANYBODY on this BBS, don't I?
Mark: I got cut off
SHAMpage: OK Mark. Now, tell me about your favorite X-Rated GIF.
Mark: no thanks
SHAMpage: Oh, gee Mark, smile a little. Loosen up. Maybe you'll get lucky.
Mark: quit
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Mark.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 22:27
===============================================================================
MATT SCHERER (Age 94), WONDER LAKE entered SHAMpage on 08-01 at 20:58
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Yawn! What time is it, Matt?
Matt: gkjh
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a wide awake person.
Matt: gjkulkjul
SHAMpage: Right. It's too late to think straight. Try calling 815)7281312  .
Matt: jhgfghjhtfghjhgjghfghgjfh
SHAMpage: Why do you say that, Matt?
Matt: hg
SHAMpage: What am I DOING here at 8:58pm???
Matt: jhkg'
SHAMpage: No kidding!
Matt: hlkj
SHAMpage: Like I care at this hour...
Matt: ghkl;lkh;lkhj;kljh;kljhlkjlkjhjklghjkhjkhjkgghjkghjk
SHAMpage: It's 8:59pm, do you know where your mind is?
Caller forced off by SysOp at 20:59
===============================================================================
SYSOP (Age 94), WOODSTOCK,IL entered SHAMpage on 08-27 at 13:59
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: My head hurts, my feet stink, and I badly need some sleep, Sysop.
Sysop: hello big dick guy
SHAMpage: Sounds like you have a bad case of penis envy, Sysop.
Sysop: 
SHAMpage: Try again, Sysop.
Sysop: hello
SHAMpage: I never give greetings in the afternoon!
Sysop: soory
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a wide awake person.
Sysop: sorry
SHAMpage: You should be sorry!
Sysop: quit
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Sysop.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 14:01
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GEORGE GOEHRING (Age 94), WOOSTOCK,IL entered SHAMpage on 09-11 at 20:50
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: What the heck do YOU want at 8:50pm, George?
George: quit
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, George.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 20:50
===============================================================================
GEORGE GOEHRING (Age 94), WOOSTOCK,IL entered SHAMpage on 10-18 at 00:46
SHAMpage v3.55 is using SHAMpage.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Damn! Who let YOU in here, George?
George: you did
SHAMpage: It's 12:46am, do you know where your mind is?
George: quit
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, George.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 00:46
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BILL PURPURA (Age 94), MCHENRY, IL entered SHAMpage on 11-08 at 19:51
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: I don't care WHO you are Bill! It's 7:51pm and I'm tired!
Bill: ok you probably have better things to do
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a wide awake person.
Bill: how so
SHAMpage: If I knew how, I wouldn't be here farting around with YOU.
Bill: ok
SHAMpage: I forgot the question. What were we talking about?
Bill: i said that i didnt know that you had any virtual sysop games because i h
ave
SHAMpage: You need to go to the door menu for the games, Einstein!
Bill: quit
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Bill.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 19:52
===============================================================================
MATT SCHERER (Age 94), WONDER LAKE entered SHAMpage on 11-17 at 16:57
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Yawn! What time is it, Matt?
Matt: bye
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Matt.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 16:58
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MARC HILL (Age 94), MCHENRY IL entered SHAMpage on 11-27 at 20:04
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: I only have time for a quickie, Marc.
Marc: ok. do you have al's number
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a wide awake person.
Marc: shit ai
SHAMpage: You seem to have a solid waste fixation, Marc.
Marc: eat me
SHAMpage: Me, me, me... do you live in front of your mirror?
Marc: yeah right
SHAMpage: That's "si" to you. You're in South Florida now!
Marc: leave
SHAMpage: I have a hard time thinking straight at this hour.
Marc: get me out of here
SHAMpage: Aw gee... and I was having so much fun.
Marc: bye
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Marc.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 20:05
===============================================================================
MARC HILL (Age 94), MCHENRY IL entered SHAMpage on 11-27 at 20:24
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Did you know that BBSing at 8:24pm is a SICKNESS, Marc?
Marc: yes
SHAMpage: That's "si" to you. You're in South Florida now!
Marc: your an asshole vans
SHAMpage: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste!
Marc: fuck you
SHAMpage: I'm a fan of Doogie (Howser) style, myself.
Marc: fuck shit ass twat cunt
SHAMpage: Nobody likes a smart ASS, Marc!
Marc: twat
SHAMpage: I just joined pussyholics anonymous.
Marc: shit
SHAMpage: Nice mouth!
Marc: shit
SHAMpage: I'm surprised you can spell shit, Marc.
Marc: shit
SHAMpage: You seem to have a solid waste fixation, Marc.
Marc: a
SHAMpage: Huh?
Marc: b
SHAMpage: Huh?
Marc: c
SHAMpage: Huh?
Marc: d
SHAMpage: Huh?
Marc: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
SHAMpage: You've obviously mistaken me for a wide awake person.
User dropped carrier at 20:26
===============================================================================
TONY DZIEWIONTKA (Age 94), MCHENRY,ILLINOIS entered SHAMpage on 12-10 at 04:37
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: Damn! It's just you, Tony... Kathy Willets usually calls around 4:37a
m.
Tony: too bad
SHAMpage: Do you have ANY idea what time it is?
Tony: yeah, you just told me
SHAMpage: But what about MY feelings, Tony?
Tony: screw you
SHAMpage: Right. It's too late to think straight. Try calling 3852526      .
Tony: go to hell
SHAMpage: Like I care at this hour...
Tony: fuck you
SHAMpage: Yeah, that's what your mother said, too.
Tony: cool
SHAMpage: "Cool", huh? You have a great vocabulary, Tony.
Tony: shit
SHAMpage: I'm surprised you can spell shit, Tony.
Tony: bye
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Tony.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 04:40
===============================================================================
SYSOP (Age 94), WOODSTOCK,IL entered SHAMpage on 12-11 at 05:10
SHAMpage v3.55 is using Midnite.Dat
===============================================================================
SHAMpage: I don't care WHO you are Sysop! It's 5:10am and I'm tired!
Sysop: well be that way
SHAMpage: It's 5:10am, do you know where your mind is?
Sysop: quit
SHAMpage: Nice chatting with you, Sysop.
SHAMpage terminated normally at 05:11