365
Mary had a little lamb. The doctor was very surprised.
Matrimony isn't a WORD, It's a SENTENCE!
Memory is a thing we forget with.
Mickey Mouse wears a Dan Quayle watch.
Miracle Software, Inc. "If it works, it's a Miracle!"
Modem sex begins with a handshake.
Modems.....reach out and BYTE someone!
Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.
Money DOES talk - mine said "Goodbye"
Money is the root of all money.
Moving fast is not the same as going somewhere.
Murphy has a baby.....Quayle has a cow.
My attorneys are Dewey, Cheatem and Howe.
My cat is radioactive. She has 18 half-lives.
My computer is working. I'm on a break!
My hot water is already hot. I don't need a heater.
My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring.
My other computer is a Cray II.
mY OthEr mOdEm Is A tIn cAn And stIck.
My reality check just bounced.
Never accept lemonade from a urologist.
Never go into a hug off balance.
Never lie when the truth is more profitable.
Never mind the facts - I know what I know.
Nice computers don't crash...
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
No Brain, No Pain.
No good deed goes unpunished.--Mark Twain.
No one really knows enough to be a pessimist.
No one watches until you make a mistake
Nobodie is infallible.
Not enough disk space, not enough RAM, not enough money!
Not ready; error reading user's mind.
Nothing spoils a good party like a genius.
Nothing wrong that reincarnation won't cure.
Notice: All incoming fire has the right of way.
Offer void where prohibited by sanity
Oh no, not another learning experience!
Oh, you asked if I had a hard DISK?
Old MacDonald had a computer, with EIA I/O...
Online? Good, hit Alt-H for FREE Unlimited Access !
Only dead fish swim with the stream.
Original Multitasker = Two PCs and a chair with wheels!
Originality is undetected plagiarism.
OS/2 2.0..It puts hair on your CPU!
Outlaw puns and only outlaws will have them!
Pardon my driving; I'm trying to reload...
Phobaphobia (n.): The fear of fear itself.
Pi R squared? NoNo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!
Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message
Politicians only lie when their lips are moving.
Potatoe. Dan, my spell checker agrees with you.
Prayer will be in schools as long as exams are!
Press all the keys at once to continue...
Problem with the gene pool: No lifeguard.
Professor: A textbook wired for sound.
PROGRAM n. used to turn valid data into error messages
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Proofread when you have tyme.
Puns are bad, but poetry is verse.
Put on your seatbelt...I wanna try something...
Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
Rap is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art...
REAL men don't throw gutter balls...
Reality: A special case of no general interest
Register all shareware, but copy the commercial stuff.
Remember when safe sex was not getting caught in the act?
ROBOHUSBAND: Sleeps with your wife while you're online.
Sarcasm is the sincerest form of insult!!
Sects! Sects! Sects! Is that all monks think about?!?
Semiconductor: A part-time orchestra leader.
Sex in a Volkswagon: Farfergnookie.
Shareware program dies! GIF at Eleven.
She turned me into a newt! ....well, I got better....
She won't last forever; why give her a diamond?
Since when was a phone for talking?
Skydiving & Maxwell House - Good to the last drop!
Software independent: Won't work with ANY software.
SOLVE THE RUSH HOUR PROBLEM. GET VEHICULAR WEAPONRY.
Some days you step in it..some days you don't...
Some Things Must be Believed Before They Can Be Seen!
Somedays I feel like a windshield; others a bug!
Sometimes I wake up grouchy, sometimes I let her sleep.
Sorry, the brain you have reached has been disconnected.
Sorry. I thought it was set on STUN!
Spiritual truth through superior weapons!
Standards are Wonderful! So many to pick from!
Star date 274.23.4 Beamed dowm for a pee..
Stationary mice have bigger balls.
Stewardess, quick hand me that Bush Bag!
Strike any user when ready.....
SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES DON'T (drink coke) WORK ON ME!
Success and failure can be equally disastrous.
Support PROgress, not CONgress!
System Error (A)bort (R)etry (W)hine
Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.
Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand ...
Talk is cheap... till you hire a lawyer.
That's Mister Idiot to you!
That's not line noise--my modem's speaking in tongues!
The Anita Hill doll: Pull string; talks in ten years.
The Bigger the Drive,the more Junk Collected
The Lab called: your brain is ready.
The more known about people, the more to admire in dogs.
The new macho test: proving WEB wrong.
The road to success is under construction ...
The Ross Perot Watch-you get wound up, it stops running
The scenery only changes for the lead dog ...
The world is coming to an end. Please log-off.
Then, sudden-like, >BLAMMO<! Pixels EVERYWHERE!!
There are myriad ways to remove the epidermis of felines
There is a plot afoot to make me think I'm paranoid!
THERE IS NO PRIZE !!
There's an exception to every rule . . . except this one.
There's not enough sax and violins on television.
This is a fried egg on drugs. Any questions?
This is a real Byte in the ASCII.
This is as useful as underarm deodorant for snakes.
This is not a joke. Please ignore it.
This is weird. Very weird. I like it.
This is your modem. τhï ï ¥öÜΓ möδεM Θ∩ δΓÜgs
This message was typed with recycled pixels.
This mind intentionally left blank.
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
Time for culture -- Gone CHOPIN, BACH in a MINUET...
Tis merely a flesh wound!
To be human without passion is to be dead.
To ERR is human. To blame others is Politics...
To our wives and sweethearts: May they NEVER meet!
TOAD - what happens to an illegally parked frog.
Today Mickey Mouse denied he wears a Dan Quale watch!
Trespassers will be shot; Survivors will be shot again!
TSR= (T)rash (S)ystem (R)andomly
Tuna doesn't taste the same without the dolphin.
Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
Underneath all these clothes I'm completely naked!
Upgrade: Take out old bugs, put new ones in.
Urinalysis - The study of Pissed Off People.
Vuja De: The feeling you've never been here before.
VViirruuss?? WWhhaatt VViirruuss??
Walk softly and carry a fully charged Phazer.
Want to practice SAFE shareware? With ME?
Wanted: Guillotine operator. Chance to get ahead.
Wanted: Programmers. Some assembly required.
War is God's way of teaching us geography.
Was that your wife I saw in that GIF?
Was this post pay for view? I've already seen it!
Washing windows is better than using Windows..
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
We don't need no education . . .
We have met the enemy and he is us.
We have secretly replaced the Dilithium with Foldgers
We now return to our regularly scheduled name calling.
We who laugh, survive!
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.
We'll burn that bridge when we get to it.
We've replaced the Dilithium with new Folgers Crystals!
We've upped our standards...Now, Up Yours!
Welcome to Maine. Now go home.
Well paint me green and call me Gumby!
Wench: What you use to turn the head of a dolt.
What can you do at 3 AM? Psssttt - got a modem??
What do you mean you formatted the cat???
What does Keyboard Time expired mea¬°
What has four legs and an arm?......... A happy pit bull.
What if the world was flat?
What you permit you promote!
What's another word for Thesaurus?
What? Me worry? I have a backup.....somewhere.....
What? Monday again! Didn't we have that last week.
When I want your opinion, I'll read your entrails.
When in doubt, make it configurable.
When in doubt, make it sound convincing!
When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns.
When the going gets tough, the tough go to lunch!
Where's my PIZZA????
Where's the ANY key?
Who beta tested Preparations A through G ? Why?
Who says Prayer doesn't work ??
Who wants the gold? It's the RAINBOW I am after!!
Who would imagine that i² = -1? ■
Whoever invented guns should be SHOT with one!
Why can't women remember to leave the seat up?
Why did I cut my hair, I look like a squirrel....
Why don't lawyers lie on the beach? Cats would bury them.
Wide awake in dreamland
Will that be cache or chkdsk?
Windows -- from the folks who brought you EDLIN
Windows 3: Another fine product from the makers of EDLIN!
Windows and Quayle - Wasted space!
Windows is a pane.
Windows IS NOT a virus. Viruses do something.
Windows is to OS/2 as Etch-A-Scetch is to Art.
Windows: from the people who wrote EDLIN
Windows: The Gates of hell.
WINTER is Nature's way of saying, "Up Yours!"
Winter is natures way of saying UP YOURS!
Wisecrack explodes. Prodigy crashes. Film at 11:00.
With half my brain tied behind my back...
WOMAN.ZIP-Great Program. No docs, but fun to unZIP!
Woman.Zip. Good utility when properly configured
WOMAN.ZIP. Great program, but no documentation.
WOMEN = Weird Obnoxious Male Enticing Nymphs
Women, you can't live with them, and sheep can't cook!
Wonder is the foundation of philosophy, ignorance the end
Words are cheap ... and so am I.
WOW! READ the DOCS? ...what a radical concept!
WYTYSYDG - What you thought you saw, you didn't get.
Yer motherboard wears combat reboots!
Yes, but which one is the Fatherboard?
You may now log into life. Password:
You NEVER want to shake hands with Mr. Electricity....
You tell 'em Banana, You've been skinned.
You'll get what's coming to you . . . unless it's mailed.
You're a loser when your dog gets a new best friend.
You're an old timmer if you eat radio dinners!
You're fat when your main squeeze is the door frame.
You're sick and twisted. I like that!
You've got to hand it to those blind prostitutes...
» Coup de grace -- French for lawnmower?
┬hïs ïs yòúr çòmpúτêr ò∩ δrúgs. Å∩y qúêsτïò∩s?
┬╫¡ mΣ$$ÆgÉ mäδε ƒΓ°M 100% ┌ÉÇ¥¢⌠êδ Σ│ëçτ⌐σ∩
■ Push To Test. Release To Detonate.
...................... Group Photo
There is more to reality than meets the eye
McBorgs: Over one Billion assimilated!
Me...a skeptic? I trust you have proof.
If you can't give up sex, get married and taper off
It's you and me against the world! When do we attack?
KENNEDY COMPOUND -KEEP OUT- TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED!
Keyboard: An add-on device for entering errors in a PC>
Learn from your parents mistakes. Use birth control.
Life ain't easy for a Borg named Hugh.
Listen to what I think, not what I say!
More Speed Scotty. But Capt'n, we're at 38500 baud!
Never kiss anything that doesn't have lips.
Never moon a werewolf.
Never search for raisins in a rabbit cage.
Never underestimate the power of stupidity.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one'll do.
No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.
Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
Of the things I've lost..I miss my mind the most
Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer a friend.
Onward to glorious madness & death....Have a nice day.
Onward to old age and death. Have a nice day.
PERSONAL COMPUTING ... A Terminal Disease.
Psst, Your file is open....
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Purranoia: the fear your cats are up to something.
Quayle just took an IQ test. The results were negative.
Real women don't deflate when you bite them...
Reality is for people with no grasp of fantasy.
Redundancy: An air bag in a politician's car.
Rotisserie: A Ferris wheel for chickens.
Rumors start easily around here... pass it on.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Shaka, when the walls fell.
She kept saying I didn't listen to her, or something.
Shell to DOS....come in DOS...do you copy?
If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
If Marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws!
Operator halted! Star Trek's on!
Operator, give me the number for 911!
Oxymorons... "postal service" and "tech support"!
Pain is necessary; misery is optional.
Race Car spelled backwards is Race Car!!!
Raise your IQ - eat gifted children.
REALITY.SYS CORRUPTED: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark.
My name is Joe and I don't know!
My name is paul and that's between Y`all!
When You make a mistake, lie about it.
Check out Atomic Soft.'s new products! Or else! Download: !MOVEIT v1.0
I was with my friend, and said, "Look, a dead bird!" He glanced at the sky
Had lil accident but what the heck, ain't no big deal but I broke my neck!
See spot run... Run spot run... Oh spot, what have you done!
There is more to reality than meets the eye
McBorgs: Over one Billion assimilated!
Me...a skeptic? I trust you have proof.
If you can't give up sex, get married and taper off
It's you and me against the world! When do we attack?
KENNEDY COMPOUND -KEEP OUT- TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED!
Keyboard: An add-on device for entering errors in a PC>
Learn from your parents mistakes. Use birth control.
Life ain't easy for a Borg named Hugh.
Listen to what I think, not what I say!
More Speed Scotty. But Capt'n, we're at 38500 baud!
Never kiss anything that doesn't have lips.
Never moon a werewolf.
Never search for raisins in a rabbit cage.
Never underestimate the power of stupidity.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one'll do.
No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.
Nothing is 100 certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
Of the things I've lost..I miss my mind the most
Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer a friend.
Onward to glorious madness & death....Have a nice day.
Onward to old age and death. Have a nice day.
PERSONAL COMPUTING ... A Terminal Disease.
Psst, Your file is open....
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Purranoia: the fear your cats are up to something.
Quayle just took an IQ test. The results were negative.
Real women don't deflate when you bite them...
Reality is for people with no grasp of fantasy.
Redundancy: An air bag in a politician's car.
Rotisserie: A Ferris wheel for chickens.
Rumors start easily around here... pass it on.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Shaka, when the walls fell.
She kept saying I didn't listen to her, or something.
Shell to DOS....come in DOS...do you copy?
If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
If Marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws!
Operator halted! Star Trek's on!
Operator, give me the number for 911!
Oxymorons... "postal service" and "tech support"!
Pain is necessary; misery is optional.
Race Car spelled backwards is Race Car!!!
Raise your IQ - eat gifted children.
REALITY.SYS CORRUPTED: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark.
Silence is evidence of superb language skills ..
!edis gnorw eht morf siht ta gnikool era uoY
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
"Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Issac Newton.
"At last I'm organized", he sighed, and died.
"Beam me aboard, Scotty!" "A 2 x 4, Captain?"
"Better" is the death knell for "good enough"
"Don't worry, I'm fluent in wierdo"
"Dyslexic Christian sells soul to Santa" ...News at 11
"Eating Radium has strange results," Tom said brightly.
"Good enough" is the death knell of progress."
"I drank WHAT!?" - Socrates
"I hate Victor Hugo," said Les, miserably.
"I think not," said Descartes - and promptly disappeared
"I'll be Bach." - Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger
"I've dropped my toothpaste", he said crestfallen.
"If the shoe fits, buy it." - Imelda Marcos
"It" has fallen, and "it" won't get up.
"Junior, quit playing with your floppy!"
"Let Us Open Our Checkbooks and Pray..."
"Look at all the Indians!" - General Custer
"Most who favor abortion have already been born!"
"Never try to outstubborn a cat" -
"She's so fat that when she sings, it's over."
"The abstract means nothing to me!" Rorschach
"Tourist Season" : When it's OK to shoot them.
"What is it Spock!"......."H*ll if I know!"
'Schizophrenic?' No, we prefer the word 'Imaginative'
(A)bort (R)etry (V)alium
********* <<< Expletive Deleted >>> *********
*FLASH* Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
*NO* hard drive has enough space!
*WARNING* Message explodes when deleted!
- A RAM is a terrible thing to waste.
...and all the children are above average
...and that is how we know the Earth is banana-shaped
...MODEM....a deterrent to phone solicitors.
