-----T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E-------
...My radio is tuned to the voice of a star...
10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
1st rule of marriage: If you're right, apologize fast.
3 dreaded words: " hard disk failure."
43% of all statistics are totally worthless..
486SX: When only the most recent mediocrity will do...
640k = 4480 in dog bytes.
8 of 10 people suffer hemorrhoids the other 2 enjoy them.
A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed.
A big mouth travels far and fast.
A billion dollars isn't what it used to be.
A bird in the bush can't make a mess in your hand.
A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.
A book is the only immortality.
A brilliant smile will get you fan mail from lighthouses.
A cat would be man's best friend, but never stoops to it.
A child prodigy knows not to bother with it.
A clean, neat, and orderly desk is a sign of a sick mind.
AARRGHH!! A virus was chewing my FAT.
aibohphobia, n., The fear of palindromes.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
Bad officials: elected by good citizens who fail to vote.
Banging head against wall mode - off.
Blame Murphy when you dig at the wrong end of a rainbow.
By the time I have money to burn, my fire will be out.
By trying we can learn to endure another's adversity.
C:\>  The stick shift of computing.
Chastity Belt is here. Do you have the right key?
COBOL programs are an example of artificial inelegance.
Computations which yield 0 are probably all for naught.
Computers also eliminate spare time.
CPU time flies when you're having fun.
DESQview: Faster than a Cray (running Windows).
Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
Devoted to the study of cat bathing as a martial art.
Did Humpty Dumpty have major medical insurance?
Does it take an entomologist to recognize a computer bug?
Dumb v2.0:  Upgrade from stupid.
Electronic publishing: What's my lino?
ERROR: COLDBEER.CAN not found! USER.SYS not loaded.
Eternity may well be composed of a very deep silence.
Evangelists do more than lay people, sometimes.
Fax me no questions, I'll Fax you no lies.
Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt.
Forget *HIM* it's time to run a *HER* for president.
General stupidity error reading drive C:
Genius: One who can do anything except earn a living.
I BBS because no one can read my handwriting.
I'm the NRA, and if I can't vote twice, I'll shoot you.
If a string has one end, then it has another end.
If I were really two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If Old MacDonald had a computer, it uses Eee-aye-eee I/O.
Infinity is a self-canceling thought form.
Lady with chastity belt is not having a ball.
Manuals come out, after all possible keystrokes fail.
Nature, like people, sometimes weeps for gladness.
Off with her head!" shouted the Queen.
Old programmers never die.  They branch to a new address.
OS/2 - Opens Windows and shuts up Gates.
PARANOID - One who is really in touch with reality.
ROM instruction: (R)ead (O)perators (M)ind.
Squeeze Me Hard!!!!  I Work Better Under Pressure....
Tagline Lotto: ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓<- Scratch here to reveal prize.
This tagline is baroque; please call Bach.
We are not as schizophrenic as you think I am.
Windows Error: 004 -- Operator fell asleep while waiting.
Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.
Zippy the pinhead is a twit.