-+- The Complete Guide To Tha Most St3w-Pid EXCUSES. 3l33t. -+-
-+- Written, Editted, Produced, Idead, Printed And Grilled By p0lygon. -+-
-+- Inspired From Tha Chiwawa - Thats Me. -+-
Yo Beaverz\Goats\Deers\Chickenz.
Its Me p0lygon The CHIWAWA,...
Welp... In This Guide. U'll Find Some 1337 Excuses, On Some 1337 Situationz.
Keep Reading After Ya Prepare NearUrself In A Tin Bucket -
1 Banana
1½ Boxez Of Goats Cheeze
1 Monkey Slimey Thing
2¼ Bottles Full In Chiwawas Burps
Okay.. Now That Y3w Ready...
Few Rulez Before Going On. [Just For Phun.. No Connection. ;]
1. Never, But Never - Drink A Something ya found in Harlem.
2. Alwayz - Snore In Ur Grandpa's Houze.
3. Never - Smell A Buldog's Butt.
3. Alwayz - Leave In Ur Bag A RedColor Spray.[But Black One Is Also Usefull].
4. Never - Eat An Ice-cream Near A Moose In Tha Desert.
5. Alwayz - Drink A Cup O' Vodka Before Going To A Movie.
6. Never - Be A Underwear Model. Specially If U Miss One Ball In Ur Pants.
Okay. We Understood Tha Rulez. Now We'll Go To The Cherry In Tha Cream, Tha
Sound In Tha Fart, Tha Brown In Tha Shit, Tha Hair In Tha Nipple [yuk!] -
-+-─ Tha Excuses! --+-
Well. The Excuses Guide Will Be Like That:
-░----#1-+----------------------+-------░---------------*-------+-----------▒--
-+ Situation - U'r In Midlle Of A Bank - Full Of Quiet People. And Ya Farted.
-+ Excuse - Its Becoz My Pocket-Beaver Gave A Bite To My Left Ball.
--▒-----------+-------*----------------░------+----------------+------░--------
Got Tha Idea? Yapy.! so Latz R0k.
I Kall My Guide ----:
-+- Stew-Pid. But True. -+-
--▒---#2------+-------*----------------░------+----------------+------░--------
-+ Situation - You Were In A Zoo, Ya Couldnt Control Urself And Ya Kissed One
Of Tha Baboons.
-+ Excuse - "Tha Doctor Said That Those Medicine He Gave Me Can Cause Some Weird Effectz".
-░----#3-+----------------------+-------░---------------*-------+-----------▒--
-+ Situation - You'r At Tha Skool's Principal Office Trying To Put Some Super-
Glue On His Seat, And The Secretary Gets In.
-+ Excuse - "You Ask What Im Doing Here?, Ohh. Well Im Having Sex With An
Insect! Wanna Join?" ;]
--▒---#4------+-------*----------------░------+----------------+------░--------
-+ Situation - U'r At Tha House Of Yar GirlFriend, And When Her Parents Asked
Asked You If Whats Ur Name, Ya Told Them To Go &$@%@#$!, And If
Thei'r Asking Ur Name Is Alexiev-Grujinski-Slovakov-Vladek-
Semi-Burekas.
-+ Excuse - "Oops. Its My New Braces, Da Dentist Probably Didnt Install Them So
Good... They Step On My Toungue". [This One Pretty Sux..]
------#5-░------+----------------+-----░-----------------*-------+-----------▒-
-+ Situation - U'r In A Midlle Of Breaking Into A Candy-For-Pet Shop, And Tha
Police Just Came.
-+ Excuse - "Im Just Checking If Tha Door Is Greased Well". [Huh? This One Sux]
--▒---#6------+-------*----------------░------+----------------+------░--------
-+ Situation - Ya Got A Voice Call From The President Of Ur Country, And Ya
Gotta Go To Tha Bathroom. EMERGENCY.
-+ Excuse - "Excuse Me Sir, But A Mousqito Just Sucking My Ass's Blood. So I
Needa Take Care Of Him. Ya Mind Hold-On For A Second?" ;]
------#7--░------+----------------+-----░-----------------*-------+----------▒-
-+ Situation - Ya'r Drunk., And Got Into Fancy-Goldy-Resturant And Thought It
Iz Tha Bathroom [Ya'r Drunk.. Remember?], And Ya Sat On A
Fancy Chair With Ur Pants Down And Started Shitting.
The Waiter Came To Get Ya Outta There With Two HUGE Guyz.
-+ Excuse - Start Singin': "Poppie The Sailor Man, Poppie The Sailor Man" [*3]
And Make A HUGE Burp. [Adonno , Its Not ALWAYZ Help, But It'll Do
Something... ;]
--▒---#8------+-------*----------------░------+----------------+------░--------
-+ Situation - Ya'r In Tha Girlz Bathrooms Hided Inside The Trank Of One Of Tha
Bathrooms. And Tha Most Fat-Icky Girl In Skool Gets In And Start
Shitting - In Tha Bathroom Ya Hided In! You Cant Stand Tha Smell
And Ya Go Out Tha Hide. She Started Crying. ;]
-+ Excuse - "Oh My Dear ! I Alwayz Wanted To Say That. But I Just Couldnt -
I Think Now That We'r Alone, In Tha Same Bathroom, I Can Say It-
[Now Take A Deep Breath] - YAR FUCKING UGGGGGGGGLLLLLLLLYYYY!!" ;]
------#9--░------+----------------+-----░-----------------*-------+----------▒-
-+ Situation - In A Very Famous Band's Show. Ya Passed All Tha Guards And Every
Thing And Got On Tha Stage. Ya Took Tha Microphone, Put It On
Yar Butt - And Farted A HUGE Smelly And Noizy Fart.
-+ Excuse - "Its O.K. - Im Tha Sound Man." ;]
--▒---#10-----+-------*----------------░------+----------------+------░--------
-+ THATS IT!!!!!!!! IM OUT OF MORE SITUATIONS!!!!!!!!
If Anyone Wanna Ask Me Stuff And Tell Me How Stew-Pid Was This Text -
Call Me At 972-9-920577. Soon My Board Will Open At This Numba..
For Now - Ta-Ta, Sayonara, Lehitraot, Bye Bye, Ilah-Lika, Chao, Salamat.
-Tha Chiwawa
