hello friends.
well, first of all, eye changed my nick from RAGE? to oatbran. this is for 3
reasons:
a) my initials are also a leading brand of tampons.
b) eye stay crunchy, even in milk.
c) eye provide 30% of the daily alloance for adults.

ALSO:
my board, liquid, welp, i'm re-opening it on iniquity. if yewr an artist,
call me & stuff.. 04-8245720/8241048, and make art for it. yeah.

oki, eye'll cut the crap and go straight to... uhhh.. more crap, prolly.


   T H E   W O N D E R F U L   W O R L D   O F   T O A S T

welcome friends. eyem here to talk to yew about toast. yes. fried bread.
the essense of life as we know it. to those of yew not familiar with the 
wonderful and scented world, yew have much to learn. read this text carefully,
and perhaps yew too will learn the joys of toast. here we go...

A C H I E V I N G   T O A S T M A N S H I P

first thing yew gotta do if yew wanna start yewr way in the toast werld, is 
find aye toaster. toasters are the things yew see in the afterdark (c) screen
saver, that have wings, only real-life toasters do *not* have wings. if yew see
a winged toaster, report immediatly to local police station. toaster immitators
are very dangerous. now, a toaster can be bought at yewr favourite home appli-
ance store, or in the basement. they range from 5 pesos, to around 500$. be
sure to get one appropriate to yewr needs.if yew find one at yewr basement, thatis very good. once yew have got yewrself a toaster, all yew need is bread.

     T H E   B R E A D 

the bread is not less important than the toaster. yew can buy cheap bread at 
yewr local supermarket, but that would prolly suck, cuz these days bread are of
very low quality. instead, yew should go to yewr friendly neighborhood hermit.
hermits are masters of bread preperation. after around half a year of being an
apprentice to such a hermit, yew will be a master bread-maker-typed-person.
get the needed groceries, and begin baking.

T H E  T O A S T I N G   P R O C E D U R E

now yewr set to toast. remember - yew must have an afro to prepare toast. (in 
fact, its recommended to have an afro to do anything, now that eye think about
it.) put yewr home-baked bread in the toaster, and press the handle. now hum 
gently until the toast is done. yew may also play the toast contemporary pop
music. eye think.

P I N G ! ! ! # @ ^ * &

yewr toast is now ready. enjoy!@!# remember - spreading stuff on toasts is a 
federal crime, and if caught yew will be sued to the maximum allowed by the law.


thank yew for listening to this heap of shit eye whipped up. join us next week
for another INTERESTING@!#$% text. see also: how to raise yewr beaver.