644 ...................... Group Photo  There is more to reality than meets the eye  McBorgs: Over one Billion assimilated! Me...a skeptic? I trust you have proof. If you can't give up sex, get married and taper off It's you and me against the world! When do we attack? KENNEDY COMPOUND -KEEP OUT- TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED! Keyboard: An add-on device for entering errors in a PC> Learn from your parents mistakes. Use birth control. Life ain't easy for a Borg named Hugh. Listen to what I think, not what I say! More Speed Scotty. But Capt'n, we're at 38500 baud! Never kiss anything that doesn't have lips. Never moon a werewolf. Never search for raisins in a rabbit cage. Never underestimate the power of stupidity. Never use a long word when a diminutive one'll do. No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard. Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible. Of the things I've lost..I miss my mind the most Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer a friend. Onward to glorious madness & death....Have a nice day. Onward to old age and death. Have a nice day. PERSONAL COMPUTING ... A Terminal Disease. Psst, Your file is open.... Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots. Purranoia: the fear your cats are up to something. Quayle just took an IQ test. The results were negative. Real women don't deflate when you bite them... Reality is for people with no grasp of fantasy. Redundancy: An air bag in a politician's car. Rotisserie: A Ferris wheel for chickens. Rumors start easily around here... pass it on. Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . . Shaka, when the walls fell. She kept saying I didn't listen to her, or something. Shell to DOS....come in DOS...do you copy? If idiots could fly, this would be an airport. If Marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws! Operator halted! Star Trek's on! Operator, give me the number for 911! Oxymorons... "postal service" and "tech support"! Pain is necessary; misery is optional. Race Car spelled backwards is Race Car!!! Raise your IQ - eat gifted children. REALITY.SYS CORRUPTED: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/Q) Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark. Silence is evidence of superb language skills .. !edis gnorw eht morf siht ta gnikool era uoY "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981 "Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Issac Newton. "At last I'm organized", he sighed, and died. "Beam me aboard, Scotty!" "A 2 x 4, Captain?" "Better" is the death knell for "good enough" "Don't worry, I'm fluent in wierdo" "Dyslexic Christian sells soul to Santa" ...News at 11 "Eating Radium has strange results," Tom said brightly. "Good enough" is the death knell of progress." "I drank WHAT!?" - Socrates "I hate Victor Hugo," said Les, miserably. "I think not," said Descartes - and promptly disappeared "I'll be Bach." - Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger "I've dropped my toothpaste", he said crestfallen. "If the shoe fits, buy it." - Imelda Marcos "It" has fallen, and "it" won't get up. "Junior, quit playing with your floppy!" "Let Us Open Our Checkbooks and Pray..." "Look at all the Indians!" - General Custer "Most who favor abortion have already been born!" "Never try to outstubborn a cat" - "She's so fat that when she sings, it's over." "The abstract means nothing to me!" Rorschach "Tourist Season" : When it's OK to shoot them. "What is it Spock!"......."H*ll if I know!" 'Schizophrenic?' No, we prefer the word 'Imaginative' (A)bort (R)etry (V)alium ********* <<< Expletive Deleted >>> ********* *FLASH* Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. *NO* hard drive has enough space! *WARNING* Message explodes when deleted! - A RAM is a terrible thing to waste. ...and all the children are above average ...and that is how we know the Earth is banana-shaped ...MODEM....a deterrent to phone solicitors. 1024x768x256.... Sounds like one MEAN woman. 186,000 miles per second. Not just a good idea. Its law! 486: "When I grow up, I wanna be a CRAY" 90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. 92 America has the wealthiest poor in the world. bort, etry, mack the friggin' thing... >((((((YOU))))((((ARE))))((((FEELING))))((((SLEEPY))))))< ?pu gnikcab yb naem uoy tahw siht sI [sigh] Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be ... _________._________ A bad excuse is better than no excuse. A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed. A bird in the hand is better than a bird overhead. A black hole is when the gods divide by zero... A coin. Good. I will replicate one immediately. - Data A cynic smells the flowers and then looks for the casket. A day without sunshine is just like nighttime. A dog is a dog, but a cat is a purrrrson. A feature is a bug with seniority. A fool and his money is my kind of customer! A girl can be poor at history, but great on dates! A hangover: the wrath of grapes A hug warms the soul and places a smile in the heart. A husband's home is the wife's castle A lecture on time travel will be held yesterday. A penny saved is 2.5 grams of zinc alloy. A Racetrack is where windows clean people. A recession is what takes the wind out of your sales. A vivid and creative mind characterizes you. A waist is a terrible thing to mind. Acid test? You're soaking in it... Add DEVICE=EXXON to your CONFIG.SYS. Mess up environment. Aerobics: Converting software to firmware Alimony: the fee a woman charges for name-dropping Alimony: the price for name-dropping All male Great Dane's should wear underwear! All stressed out, and no one to choke ... All the world's a stage, and I missed rehearsal. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? Always forgive your enemies. THEY HATE THAT! Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. Alzheimer's is very...ah...uh.....uh.....um An elephant is a mouse built to government specs. An idea isn't responsible for people who believe in it. Anal retentive people don't give a crap And God said, "I'll buy a vowel." And God said, "Let There BE Lips", and there were...... And God said: E = mv - Ze/r, and there was light! And then Adam said, "What's a headache?" And when didn't you start contradicting people? Any fool can criticize, and most do. (Carnegie) Any given program, once running, is obsolete. Apathy error: Don't Bother Striking Any Key Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key. Are Cheerios really donut seeds? Are orgasms possible in a frictionless universe? Artificial Intelligence: Another guys opinion... As I said before, I never repeat myself. As soon as you realize I'm God, we'll get along Aunt Em: Hate Kansas. Hate you. Took dog. -Dorothy Backup not found. (A)bort (R)etry (V)alium Backup not found: (a)bort (r)etry (p)anic Bad command or filename. Go stand in the corner! Be a responsible vegetarian: neuter your plants. Be alert, the world needs more lerts Beam me up Scotty. This isn't the men's room. Beauty is only skin deep, but blond goes to the root! Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. . . BEER - It's not just for breakfast anymore. BEER ... It's not just for Breakfast anymore! Behind every great man is an amazed mother-in-law. Best way to be useful - stay out of the way. Beware of dirty hypodeemic nerdles. Beware of geeks bearing .GIF's Big or small We tax them all. Bigamy: Too many wives. Monogamy: Same thing. Bird owners have a cheep on their shoulder! Bisexuality doubles your chances for a date. Black clothes: Idea tool for removing cat hair from furn. Blind prostitutes: You've really got to hand it to them! Bones? Dr.Crusher? Chiropractic in the Federation. Brain damage? No thanks, I already have some. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding. Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore... Buddhist ordering pizza: "Make me one with everything." Bugs are Sons of Glitches! Burn the flag, but tie yourself to it first. Bush and Quail: The Skipper and Gilligan Buy stealth condoms! She'll never see you coming! Calif Raisins Murdered: Cereal Killer Suspected Can anyone tell me where in the manual "RTFM" is defined? Can E-Mail be grounds for Divorce ??? Can I leave now? My brain is full. Can you open your mind without it falling out? Capitalism I love it! Care for some cheese with that whine? Careful! My laser printer is set to "STUN." Cat#*&hair'`*^~in}{keyboard:<~#)_+| #~ CHECK-MATE:Final exam at Master & Johnson Clinic Chicken Little only has to be right once. Children are curly, dimpled lunatics. Chlorine, the breakfast of champions Chocolate is a zit's best friend. Click/click..Click/click..Damn, Out of wisecracks! Clones are people two. Close only counts in horseshoes and nuclear warfare. Cogito ergo spud. I think, therfore I yam. COLDBEER.CAN not found, USER not loaded. Color is only a pigment of your imagination. Columbus had a fourth ship--it sailed over the edge. Coming soon: EDLIN for Windows 3.1 and OS/2 Common sense is that which tells us the world is flat. Common sense, unfortunately, isn't! Computers all WAIT at the same Speed! Constants aren't. Variables don't. Daddy, what does this little red butt&᳨ NO CARRIER Dan Quayle: the EDLIN of Vice Presidents. DANGER! DANGER! Computer Book Store Ahead, Hide Wallet. David Duke for Javelin catcher. Death is nature's way of relieving stress. del *.com (heh, heh) Despite the cost of living, it remains popular. Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Diplomacy is saying "nice dog" til you find a rock Disk Space: The final frontier. Do cartoon characters have free will? Do files get embarrased when they are unzipped? Do molecular biologists wear designer genes? Do you think Jimi Hendrix's modem was a Purple Hayes? DOC's??? Oh, you mean the stuff you wipe up coffee with? Does "Bad FAT" mean disk has a high cholesterol level? Does the Existential Vacuum come with attachments? Does the name PAVLOV ring a bell ??? Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain. Don't be sexist. Broads hate that. Don't blame me. I voted for Snoopy and Pogo! Don't horse around with a stable environment! Don't know what apathy is and don't care. Don't pick up that phon9 NO CARRIER Don't sweat petty things, or pet sweaty things. DOS never says: "Excellent command or filename." Why? DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something... Double your drive space! Delete Windows! Drink till she's cute. Stop before you get married. Dust: A protective coating for furniture. DYNAMITE.COM found. Explode computer? (Y/N) Dyslexics Of The World: Untie! Eagles may FLY, but weasels don't get sucked into jets! Eagles soar, but weasles dont get sucked into jet engines Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ... Elvis has left this COOKIE. Engaging in faxual contact?... Use cover sheets. Enquiring minds couldn't care less! Entropy isn't what it used to be. Eschew Obfuscation ESTO error: Equipment Smarter Than Operator Ever stop to think and forget to start again? Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. Everyone hate me because I'm paranoid. Expert: Someone from out of town. With a modem. Fact: Fourteen out of every ten people love chocolate. Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. Fax me no questions and I'll fax you no lies. FDA recalls Preparation H. Contaminated with Super Glue! File Not Found. Smack USER and retry. First pull up - Then pull down. First Shalt thou pull out the Holy Pin! For real sponge cake, borrow all ingredients. For the millionth time; Don't Exaggerate! Forget patience! I'm gonna kill something... Format all 10? Only 3 disk fit in the slot! Free radical - an extremist who has escaped from jail. Friends don't let friends use Xmodem... Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate! Garlic is to salad what insanity is to art. Generalissimo Francisco Franco is STILL dead! Genitalia is NOT an Italian airline. George Bush: 'A New World Odor!' German prune cookie: Fartfignewton. Get yourbackup. Don't get your backup. Make up your mind! Give a man an inch, and he thinks he's a ruler. Go soak your head, puny human. God loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an ass. Gorgeous George Wins By Using The Dreaded Num Lock... Grow your own dope!!--------->(plant a politician) Growing up is optional; growing old isn't. Guns don't kill people..Mail readers kill people Guns don't kill people; it's these little hard things. Hand me that solar-powered flashlight. Happiness is a mounted STACVOL! Have the Courage For an Assault on What You Believe! Have you hugged your hard drive today? Hawaii is as American as apple poi. He who throws mud loses ground. Help stamp out and eliminate redundancy! Help! I've formatted and I can't boot up! Hey! Moon me one more time and I'm getting a new mirror! Hi, I'm a virus. Add me to your .sig file. hmm, Wonder if that Gorilla's dead or just sleepin... HOLY SH*T, BATMAN! I mean.... Hot water heater? Hot water needs heating? How could I be out of money? I still have checks. How did Ed McMahon get my home address? Huh, Where am I? And why am I in this HANDBASKET??? I [] My Cat. I [] My Dog. (Would you [] my ex-wife ?) I almost saw Elvis one night, but my shovel broke. I am in total control, (just don't tell my wife). I AM NOT schizophrenic. Me neither. I am very self-confident. Aren't I? I baked the Pillsbury doughboy--that little creep. I believe in free will - I have no choice! I believe we can fly on the wings we create I belong to the order of the Sleepless Knights... I breathe - - therefore, I shop. I call things as I see them OR I make them up--go figure. I can't seem to find time to procrastinate ... I cannot make you love; you cannot make me hate. I continue to miss my ex-wife. But my aim WILL improve! I didn't wake up grouchy... I let her sleep. I don't like violence, but I'm very good at it. I got lost in thought. It was an unfamiliar territory. I had a life once. Now I have a computer with Prodigy. I had a run in with a cop. Boy, am I beat! I had some morals, luckily, I got my money back I have a speech impediment . . . my foot. I have dynamic memory--it needs refreshing often. I have not yet begun to byte! I have the right to my thoughts about your beliefs. . . I haven't lost my mind, its backed up on disk I keep my *.BAT files in C:\BELFRY I knew I shoulda taken that left at Albuquerque I left my tart in Aunt Fran's Crisco. I may look stupid, but I'm smart enough to know it! I never met a chocolate I didn't like. I NEVER tell lies. :-------------------) I parked my hard disk... now I can't find it I parked my harddisk - and got a ticket! I pine fir yew, and balsam. I think I think, therefore I might be. I think, therefore I am confused. I think, therefore I am... I think. I think, therefore, I better get back to work. I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken. I tod yo, "Nevertouch he flopy dik suface!" I tried OS/2 once, but I didn't inhale. I use moderation - in moderation! I use Windows...on my car, on my house, on my... I used to be indecisive...now I'm not sure... I was an only child. Eventually. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. I was walking in someone else's sleep last night... I'd go on welfare, but I'm not used to living that well! I'd rather be on a continuing mission. I'm coming Dear, I only have 437 more messages to read! I'm from the lollypop. . .It's a good ship. I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it? I'm joining the Procrastinators Club - someday. I'm mooning you now, you just can't see me. I'm not a Republican, I'm an Anti-Democrat! I'm not a slob. I'm organizationally challenged. I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this? I'm not paranoid, I've just got enhanced consciousness. I'm not really lost, just locationally challenged. I'm outta sick days; I think I'll call in dead. I'm parked diagonally in a parrallel universe. I'm taking you off everything except food for thought! I'm user friendly, I don't byte -- I nybble. I've had fun before. This isn't it. Idealism precedes experience - cynicism follows... Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. If at first you don't succeed, del *.* and forget it! If at first you don't succeed, destroy the evidence. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success! If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for y If at first you don't succeed, try a hammer... If BS were white, Texas would pass out skis! If everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane If Evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve If I knew where I was going, I'd take a shortcut. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? If it moves so SLOW, why is it called Rush Hour? If love is blind, why is Lingerie so popular?? If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help If the door is Baroque, jiggle the Handel! If this were an actual wisecrack, it would be funny. If you can't say anything nice then say something nasty. If you had it all where would you put it? If you live long enough, it WILL kill you... If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast..... If you're looking for me, I just left. Ignorance or Apathy? I don't know, and I don't care! Igor:"We have enough scientists; we need more hunchbacks. Illiterate?... Write for FREE help. Imprisoned in .QWK file! Send the ZIP army! In a nuclear war, all are cremated equally. In the next world, you're on your own. Incorrigible punster--please don't incorrige him. Infinity: One lawyer waiting for another. Inflation means the Buck does not stop here... Insomnia? Well, don't lose any sleep over it. Instant gratification takes too long. Instead of being born again, why don't you just grow up? Iraqi rifle for sale. Never fired. Dropped once. Is it true that chicken soup will kill a virus? It was a stirring sight, those gypsys in the palace! It was so quiet that you could hear a pun drop. It's a Dog-Eat-Dog World & I'm wearing Milk-Bone Shorts! It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it. It's a COOKIE Jim, but not as we know it. It's always darkest just before you step on the cat. It's not over til the FAT Table sings. It's Time For NATIONAL REFERENDUMS Instead of Politicians It't time to clean the House; the Senate too! Junk--Stuff we throw away. Stuff--Junk we keep. Lawyers are Politicians in the larval stage. Lawyers do it in their briefs. Lead me not into temptation, I can find my own way Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. Let Us Open Our Checkbooks and Pray. (J. Swaggart) Life is like an orange. Or was it like a fountain? Lipogenesis - references to fat in the bible. Macintosh-PC With Training Wheels You Can't Remove Madness takes its toll. Be sure to have exact change. Make friends with sysops: page at 3 a.m. Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler. Make Love, Not War; Get Married & Do BOTH! Man often abolishes God;forturnately God is more tolerant Mary had a little lamb. She hasn't been the same since. Mary had a little lamb. The doctor was very surprised. Matrimony isn't a WORD, It's a SENTENCE! Memory is a thing we forget with. Mickey Mouse wears a Dan Quayle watch. Miracle Software, Inc. "If it works, it's a Miracle!" Modem sex begins with a handshake. Modems.....reach out and BYTE someone! Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue. Money DOES talk - mine said "Goodbye" Money is the root of all money. Moving fast is not the same as going somewhere. Murphy has a baby.....Quayle has a cow. My attorneys are Dewey, Cheatem and Howe. My cat is radioactive. She has 18 half-lives. My computer is working. I'm on a break! My hot water is already hot. I don't need a heater. My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring. My other computer is a Cray II. mY OthEr mOdEm Is A tIn cAn And stIck. My reality check just bounced. Never accept lemonade from a urologist. Never go into a hug off balance. Never lie when the truth is more profitable. Never mind the facts - I know what I know. Nice computers don't crash... Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. No animals were injured in the making of this COOKIE. No Brain, No Pain. No good deed goes unpunished.--Mark Twain. No one really knows enough to be a pessimist. No one watches until you make a mistake Nobodie is infallible. Not enough disk space, not enough RAM, not enough money! Not ready; error reading user's mind. Nothing spoils a good party like a genius. Nothing wrong that reincarnation won't cure. Notice: All incoming fire has the right of way. Offer void where prohibited by sanity Oh no, not another learning experience! Oh, you asked if I had a hard DISK? Old MacDonald had a computer, with EIA I/O... Online? Good, hit Alt-H for FREE Unlimited Access ! Only dead fish swim with the stream. Original Multitasker = Two PCs and a chair with wheels! Originality is undetected plagiarism. OS/2 2.0..It puts hair on your CPU! Outlaw puns and only outlaws will have them! Pardon my driving; I'm trying to reload... Phobaphobia (n.): The fear of fear itself. Pi R squared? NoNo! Pie R round, cornbread R square! Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message Politicians only lie when their lips are moving. Potatoe. Dan, my spell checker agrees with you. Prayer will be in schools as long as exams are! Press "+" to see another COOKIE. Press all the keys at once to continue... Problem with the gene pool: No lifeguard. Professor: A textbook wired for sound. PROGRAM n. used to turn valid data into error messages Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Proofread when you have tyme. Puns are bad, but poetry is verse. Put on your seatbelt...I wanna try something... Radioactive halibut will make fission chips. Rap is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art... REAL men don't throw gutter balls... Reality: A special case of no general interest Register all shareware, but copy the commercial stuff. Remember when safe sex was not getting caught in the act? ROBOHUSBAND: Sleeps with your wife while you're online. Sarcasm is the sincerest form of insult!! Sects! Sects! Sects! Is that all monks think about?!? Semiconductor: A part-time orchestra leader. Sex in a Volkswagon: Farfergnookie. Shareware program dies! GIF at Eleven. She turned me into a newt! ....well, I got better.... She won't last forever; why give her a diamond? Since when was a phone for talking? Skydiving & Maxwell House - Good to the last drop! Software independant: Won't work with ANY software. SOLVE THE RUSH HOUR PROBLEM. GET VEHICULAR WEAPONRY. Some days you step in it..some days you don't... Some Things Must be Believed Before They Can Be Seen! Somedays I feel like a windshield; others a bug! Sometimes I wake up grouchy, sometimes I let her sleep. Sorry, the brain you have reached has been disconnected. Sorry. I thought it was set on STUN! Spiritual truth through superior weapons! Standards are Wonderful! So many to pick from! Star date 274.23.4 Beamed dowm for a pee.. Stationary mice have bigger balls. Stewardess, quick hand me that Bush Bag! Strike any user when ready..... SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES DON'T (drink coke) WORK ON ME! Success and failure can be equally disastrous. Support PROgress, not CONgress! System Error (A)bort (R)etry (W)hine Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far. COOKIE dropped due to budget cuts. COOKIE Lotto: <- Scratch here to reveal prize. Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand ... Talk is cheap... till you hire a lawyer. That's Mister Idiot to you! That's not line noise--my modem's speaking in tongues! The Anita Hill doll: Pull string; talks in ten years. The Bigger the Drive,the more Junk Collected The Lab called: your brain is ready. The more known about people, the more to admire in dogs. The new macho test: proving WEB wrong. The road to success is under construction ... The Ross Perot Watch-you get wound up, it stops running The scenery only changes for the lead dog ... The world is coming to an end. Please log-off. Then, sudden-like, >BLAMMO U steala my COOKIE, I breaka U keyboard ! Underneath all these clothes I'm completely naked! Upgrade: Take out old bugs, put new ones in. Urinalysis - The study of Pissed Off People. Vuja De: The feeling you've never been here before. VViirruuss?? WWhhaatt VViirruuss?? Walk softly and carry a fully charged Phazer. Want to practice SAFE shareware? With ME? Wanted: Guillotine operator. Chance to get ahead. Wanted: Programmers. Some assembly required. War is God's way of teaching us geography. Was that your wife I saw in that GIF? Was this post pay for view? I've already seen it! Washing windows is better than using Windows.. We all live in a yellow subroutine. We don't need no education . . . We have met the enemy and he is us. We have secretly replaced the Dilithium with Foldgers We now return to our regularly scheduled name calling. We who laugh, survive! We'll burn that bridge when we come to it. We'll burn that bridge when we get to it. We've replaced the Dilithium with new Folgers Crystals! We've upped our standards...Now, Up Yours! Welcome to Maine. Now go home. Well paint me green and call me Gumby! Wench: What you use to turn the head of a dolt. What can you do at 3 AM? Psssttt - got a modem?? What do you mean you formatted the cat??? What does Keyboard Time expired mea What has four legs and an arm?......... A happy pit bull. What if the world was flat? What you permit you promote! What's another word for Thesaurus? What? Me worry? I have a backup.....somewhere..... What? Monday again! Didn't we have that last week. When I want your opinion, I'll read your entrails. When in doubt, make it configurable. When in doubt, make it sound convincing! When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns. When the going gets tough, the tough go to lunch! Where's my PIZZA???? Where's the ANY key? Who beta tested Preparations A through G ? Why? Who says Prayer doesn't work ?? Who wants the gold? It's the RAINBOW I am after!! Who would imagine that i = -1? Whoever invented guns should be SHOT with one! Why can't women remember to leave the seat up? Why did I cut my hair, I look like a squirrel.... Why don't lawyers lie on the beach? Cats would bury them. Wide awake in dreamland Will that be cache or chkdsk? Windows -- from the folks who brought you EDLIN Windows 3: Another fine product from the makers of EDLIN! Windows and Quayle - Wasted space! Windows is a pane. Windows IS NOT a virus. Viruses do something. Windows is to OS/2 as Etch-A-Scetch is to Art. Windows: from the people who wrote EDLIN Windows: The Gates of hell. WINTER is Nature's way of saying, "Up Yours!" Winter is natures way of saying UP YOURS! Wisecrack explodes. Prodigy crashes. Film at 11:00. With half my brain tied behind my back... WOMAN.ZIP-Great Program. No docs, but fun to unZIP! Woman.Zip. Good utility when properly configured WOMAN.ZIP. Great program, but no documentation. WOMEN = Weird Obnoxious Male Enticing Nymphs Women, you can't live with them, and sheep can't cook! Wonder is the foundation of philosophy, ignorance the end Words are cheap ... and so am I. WOW! READ the DOCS? ...what a radical concept! WYTYSYDG - What you thought you saw, you didn't get. Yer motherboard wears combat reboots! Yes, but which one is the Fatherboard? You may now log into life. Password: You NEVER want to shake hands with Mr. Electricity.... You tell 'em Banana, You've been skinned. You'll get what's coming to you . . . unless it's mailed. You're a loser when your dog gets a new best friend. You're an old timmer if you eat radio dinners! You're fat when your main squeeze is the door frame. You're sick and twisted. I like that! You've got to hand it to those blind prostitutes... Coup de grace -- French for lawnmower? hs s yr mpr rgs. y qs狕s? ׭ m$$g m M 100% ڐ 䳉 Push To Test. Release To Detonate. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up. My reality check just bounced. All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here. --T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E-- If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny. Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted! It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a Press any key to continue or any other key to quit Hello, I am part number ޺۳ݳݳ This tagline stolen by Silly Little Mail Reader! Ivo Andric - Yugoslavia's First Nobel Laureate I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it? We all live in a yellow subroutine. The Plywood PC - 604-598-1546 - Home of SLMR! On a clear disk you can seek forever All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch! This tagline is umop apisdn hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY? This ain't no party...this ain't no disco... Clap on! (clap, clap) Clap off! (clap@#&$NO CARRIER 186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW. By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts! Do I mind if you smoke? No. Do you mind if I FART? I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person! ILink Bicycling Conference Host o This is just a hobby. Perfection is not required. Fun is. You've got to be trusted by the people that you lie to. A bad day on the bike always beats a good day in the office! A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds... A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. A closed mouth gathers no feet. A committee has 6 or more legs and no brain. A friend in need is a PEST indeed... A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you. A living example of Artificial Intelligence. A man needs a good memory after he has lied. A man's best friend is his dogma. A mind is a terrible thing to ... er ... hmmmm? A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice. A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago. A single fact can spoil a good argument. A stitch in time would have confused Einstein. A yer ago I kudnt spel progremr now I are won. Agnodyslexic plea: "why ME, dog?" Ah, come on, just this one last little feature. Air Geordis - TNG footwear Alex, I'll take "Things Only I Know" for $1000. All generalizations are false, including this one. All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here. All I need to know I learned from my cat. All in a day's work for..."Confuse-a-Cat"! All in all it's just a... 'nother brick in the wall! All programers are optimists. Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out. An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills. And now for something completely different... Are we having Fahrvergngen yet?? Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716 As I said before, I never repeat myself. As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. ASCII and ye shall receive. ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI! Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it. Assumption is the mother of all screwups... Aural Sex produces eargasms. Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch! Barium: what you do with dead chemists. Be nice to your enemies, it drives them nuts. Beam me aboard Scotty. Aye, will a 2x4 do, Captain? Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!) Better ... stronger ... faster! Beware of Geeks bearing gifs. Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers. Black holes really suck... Black Holes were created when God divided by zero! Bo Knows Taglines! Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3 Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air. Break up a relationship - buy a computer!! BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding. But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car! But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!! Buy a supscription to Playboy and send it to your boss' wife Buy American! C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN Can you see the REAL ME, can ya?!?! CAN YA??!?!!?!?!?!?! Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly! Cars suck. CAUTION: RIDER MAY BAIL AT ANY TIME Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events. Clones are people two. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades! Cogito ergo spud I think therefore I yam. Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far! Committees keep minutes and lose hours. Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress Constant change is here to stay. Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping. Copywight (c) 1993 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved. Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)? Courage atrophies from lack of use. Cyclists pump it up and crank it out. Daddy, what does "Formatting Drive C:" mean? Damn this hobby is expensive! Dance naked in front of your pets. Death benefits = oxymoron. Death is just God's way of dropping carrier. Death on two legs...you're tearin' me apart !!!! Definition of Terror: A female Klingon with PMS. Dessert? I'll take a piece of cherry . Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza Dirty deeds - DONE DIRT CHEAP! Discoveries are made by not following instructions. Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them. DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAGLINE (UNDER PENALTY OF LAW)! Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you! DOC files? We don't need NO STINKIN' DOC FILES! Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines. Don't be afraid to drive a nail in the wood! Don't drink and park...accidents cause people. Don't steal. The government hates competition. Don't take life too seriously...it's not permanent. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename, Dude!" Drive A: format failure, formatting C: instead... Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me. Dyslexics are persona au gratin. Dyslexics have more fnu. Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE! Eagles may soar but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines! Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ... Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it? Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim! Error reading REALITY.SYS - Universe Halted Eschew obfuscation! Even in this corner of the galaxy, Captain, 2+2=4 ... Spock Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Every man's work is a portrait of himself. Everyone has photographic memory...some don't have film! Everyone is entitled to my opinion. Everyone's expendable...and no one has a real friend Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden. Experience is a good teacher but her fees are high... Facts Just Get In The Way And Impede Progress. Fahrvergnkie: (n) Sex in a Volkswagen. Faster than a speeding ticket! FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue... Feel lucky???? Update your software! FIGHT BACK! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals. First RAAM rider? Thomas Stevens, 1884, 103 1/2 days! Floggings will continue until morale improves. For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country. For discussion only. Not to be relied upon. Forget the diet center; send yourself a candygram. Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES! Fraud(n): A telephone number starting with "1-900" Free your mind ... the rest will follow! Friction can be a drag sometimes. Friends don't let friends ride JUNK! Fun with Greek #3: She's my cherry ! General stupidity error reading drive C: Get your filthy hands off my dessert! Go shopping. Buy Stuff. Sweat in it. Return it the next day. Grab your helmet, get your bike, it's SHOWTIME! Gravity: Not just a good idea...it's the LAW. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!! Gun control is being able to hit your target! Handwritten on a condom machine; "This gum tastes funny" Happiness is DEAD AIR at 25 mph! Happiness is finding special characters  Happiness is Long Steady Distance. Hard work never killed anyone but why take the risk? Hasta la vista, Baby! Have it OUR way. Yours is IRRELEVANT. At BORGerKing. He who asks timidly makes denial easy. He who laughs, lasts. He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged. Hello, I am part number ޺۳ݳݳ. Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy! Help! I'm parked diagonally in a parallel universe. Help!!! I'm falling and I can't click out!!! Help, I'm slipping into the Twilight Zone! Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see? Hi, I'm from Corporate. I'm here to help you. Hi. I'll be your tagline for this evening. High message: 9434567. Message last read: 9. Hills weed out the weak. Darwin would argue this is good. Hmm...Nice tagline. SUCKER!!! AH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Honey, PLEASE don't pick up the PH$@#*&$^(#@&$^%(*NO CARRIER How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star? How do you know it's summer in Seattle? Rain's warm! How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand! How much can I get away with and still go to heaven? Hydrate or Die. I *LOVE* it when a plan comes together! I always lie. In fact, I'm lying to you right now! I am Clinton of Borg. Your income will be assimilated. I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be...OOooooo! Donuts!!! I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal. I am what I am and that's all that I am. I am. Therefore, I think. I think. I BBS because no one can read my handwriting. I can resist everything except temptation. I can't believe my computer's on fire. I didn't know it was impossible when I did it. I don't care if I'm apathetic. I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. I don't think, therefore I am not. I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem. I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once. I have a speech impediment....my foot!!! I may not always be perfect, but I'm always me. I only counted 100 dalmatians...!!! I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars. I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone! I think you hear me knocking, and I think I'm comin' in! I tried to drown my problems but they can swim! I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem. I want to ride my BICYCLE, I want to ride my BIKE! I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off.... I wish life had a scroll-back buffer..... I woke up in a Soho doorway...a policeman knew my name..! I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac! I _love it_ when a plan comes together! I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money. I'd rather be bicycling! I'll get you yet, you kwazy wabbit! I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it. I'll tell you what's the matter! This parrot is dead! I'm a cowboy ... on a steel horse I ride! I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay! I'm an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate. I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing. I'm fallin' down a spiral, destination unknown! I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact. I'm from Jersey! You from Jersey? Yeah? What exit? :) I'm in shape ... Rounds a shape isn't it? I'm learning to fly ... and I don't have wings! I'm leaving my body to science fiction. I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't met... I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing. I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged. I'm not lost! I'm "locationally challenged." I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am. I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this? I'm not schizophrenic. It's this guy beside me! I'm not tense, just terribly alert. I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere... I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead! If a tree falls on a florist, would he make a sound? If all goes well, you've overlooked something! If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs... If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0! If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve. If I save the whales, where do I keep them? If I save time, when do I get it back ? If I were you, who'd be me? If I'm gonna eat somebody, it might as well be you. If it's not broke, let me take a crack at it. If Q were castrated, would he become O? If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit? If speed scares you, try Windows... If the shoe fits, put it in your mouth. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance. If this is sin, baby count me in, I can't turn back now! If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny. If winning isn't important then why keep score? If you associate with the wise, you will become wise. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch. If you hear an onion ring please answer it. If you say nothing, no one will repeat it. If you wish work poorly done, pay in advance. If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it! Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines! Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever. Illiterate? Write for FREE HELP! Innovate or Die. Innuendo: An Italian suppository. Insanity is just a state of mind. International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves. Is it in my head...or in my heart? Is this yours? Your dog left it on my lawn... isted, just an earthbound misfit I. ntainthe conference It can't be full...I STILL HAVE SUBDIRECTORIES! It depends on which end he tries to light... It doesn't work, but it looks pretty. It has many other uses as well. Allow me. Worf It is bad luck to be superstitious. It is better to be brief than boring. It is fatal to live too long. It is, after all, only a moment in the infinity of time. It said "insert disk #3" - but onty two will fit... It works better when you turn the brightness up. It's 10:00 PM...do YOU know where YOUR tagline is? It's a fine line between fishing & standing still It's a tough job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it. It's a...nice day for a...white wedding! It's as easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950... It's dj vu all over again. It's easier to obtain forgiveness than permission. It's Ensign Flintstone - he's Fred, Jim. It's not a person, damnit! It's a Borg! It's not easy having an overbearing parent! - Troi It's not GEEK - it's SOCIALLY CHALLENGED, dammit! It's not in the manual !!!!! It's not just a hobby, it's an obsession! It's not pretty being easy. It's not the money I want, it's the stuff. It's only a bike ... only a bike ... only a bike ... only a It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead, Jim. It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim! Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters! Jesus saves...Passes to Moses..Shoots....Scores! Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger - "I'll be BACH!" Join the Group Mind - become a Borg Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot. Jumbo shrimp = oxymoron. Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep. Just do it. Keyboard Not Found - Press [F1] to Continue Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging! Killer Rabbit's Motto: "Lettuce Prey." Laddie, ya think ya might like ta ... rephrase that? Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it. Lets all take the TIME to really LISTEN 2 our KIDS Life - brief interlude between nothingness and eternity. Life can be great if you live it to the fullest! Life's a bitch and then you die. LISTEN HERE! I HAVE FIRST AMENDENT RIGH(@#$!9*&^ NO CARRIER Locked coathanger in car. Good thing I had a key. LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer Love, reign o'er me...reign o'er me! Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII. Madness takes its toll; please have exact change. Make Headlines..use a corduroy pillow.... Make me an offer. I have a computer to support!! Make up a language and ask people for directions. Mary had a little lamb. The doctor was surprised. Meditation is not what you Think. Meet the new Boss--same as the old Boss... Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves! Memory is a thing we forget with. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open. Multitasking causes schizophrenia.. Murphy's law needs to be repealed. My *taglines* are original. *I* am a copy. My computer can beat your computer. My haystack had no needle! My other computer is a Cray Y/MP-4! My other computer is a HAL 9000. My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ... My reality check just bounced. Name:޺۳ݳݳ Rank:޺۳ݳ Serial No:޺۳ NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself nd do not "see" the network.--- RM 1.2 01188 RNET Never eat more than you can lift. Never enough time, unless you're serving it. Never judge a man by his taglines. Never judge a man by his taglines. Never park your hard disk in a tow-away zone. Never test for an error you don't know how to handle! Never test for an error you don't know how to handle. No one ever said "if I'd only spent more time in the office" No one EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition!!! No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard. NO! Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican Phone Company! No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in Outer Space. No, Q, I meant a BUD light! Nobody roots for Goliath. Not a computer nerd; merely a techno-weenie. Not now, John, we gotta get on with the game show... Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up. Now that I've given up hope I feel much better... Obe Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: "Use the FORKS, Luke!" Of all the things I've lost...I miss my mind the most. Of course I'm running Windows NO CARRIER Oh no, not another learning experience! Oh, Bullwinkle, that trick NEVER works! OK Scotty, NOW! Detonate and energize! I mean....... Ok, I pulled the pin. Now what? Where are you going? OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric. Old age is better than the alternative. On the other hand..you have five different fingers One is never as happy or unhappy as one imagines. One tactical thermonuclear weapon can ruin your whole day. One way to better your lot is to do a lot better... Only those who don nothing make no mistakes. Open mouth. Insert foot. Echo internationally! Optical mice have no balls! Our necessities are few but our wants are endless... Out here in the fields...I fight for my meals...! Out of Memory!? But I fed you 6 Megs this morning! Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees! Pay your electric bill in pennies. Plankton lobbyist: "NUKE THE WHALES!" Plasma is another matter. Please recycle this tagline. Once is not enough. Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message Pound forehead on keyboard to continue. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat. Prejudice is the reason of fools. - Voltaire. Press -- to continue... Press any key to continue or any other key to quit Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry. Program too small to fit into memory. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Prune Juice. A warriors drink! Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots. Quasimodo is a dead ringer. Random order = oxymoron Rap music = oxymoron Read the dictionary backwards and look for secret messages. Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym. Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek. Reduce brain fat. Eat Moral Fiber. Reduce Carbon Dioxide emmissions - STOP Breathing Remember, Subaru spelled backwards is U-R-A-BUS. Res ipsa loquitor. RIDE BIKE! Romulan warbird decloaking sir... [ NO CARRIER S met ing's hap ening t my k ybo rd . . s of the network so that the callers have good conferencesa Same to you and whatever you meant by that! Schizophrenic? I'm a bleedin' Quadrophenic! - The Who, 1972 Scotty, HURRY! Beam me ud{ՊR W #c(&NO CARRIER Sector Not Found (A)bort, (R)etry, (C)offee? Send more tourists..... the last ones were delicious! Set laser printers to "stun". Shall we...pick up the pace, gentlemen? Share the road! Bikes belong! Share the road! Cars belong! Shareware: forget the manual...phone the author at home! Shell to DOS...come in, DOS...do you read...over? Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime errors! Shoot your program and put it out of its memory! Shoplifters with the runs take Clepto Bismol Show me a sane man. I'll cure him for you. Sign outside brothel: On Vacation. Beat it. Silly wabbit, .QWKs are for kids. Skating away ... on the thin ice of a new day! Sliding down the razor blades of life... Smash forehead on keyboard to continue... Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to. So...did they get you to trade...your heroes for ghosts? Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield. Some Do, Some Don't, Some Will and Some Won't. Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under... Some people are, through no fault of their own, sane. Sorry, I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference! Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (yep/Nope) Spaceman Spiff, Interplanetary Explorer! Spelling errors? NO WAY! I've got an ERROR-CORRECTING MODEM! Stay Alert. Stay Awake. Stay Alive. Still waters run deep, so be careful I don't drown you! Stop tagline theft! Copyright your tagline (c) Stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out? SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue... Tagline Lotto: <- Scratch here for prize. Tagline theft is a compliment. Taglines \'tag-linz \ The bumperstickers of BBS'ing. Take a bite out of crime .. Abolish the IRS! The backup's not over 'til the FAT table sings! The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. The best defense is to stay out of range. The Borg assimilated me & all I got was this stupid T-Shirt! The days of the digital watch are numbered The evidence before the court is...INCONTROVERTIBLE! The eyes are the mirror of the soul. The fecal material has hit the air circulating device. The first rule of intelligent tinkering is save all parts! The future is like the present, only longer. The future isn't what it used to be. The heart is wiser than the intellect... The irony of life is that no one gets out alive... The lab called: your brain is ready. The man who begins many things finishes few. The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on... The next thing to do is hang all the consultants. The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation. The option to override self-destruct expir@^%i@&$#NO CARRIER The PARITY CHECK is in the E-MAIL... The road to success is under construction... The soul would have no heart had the eyes no tears... The Tour de France! o The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter... The worst thing about censorship is . There is no finish line. Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary. Things are not what they seem. This Charlie Brown must have been a very wise man. This is a Tagline mirror> Flowers! Is there a 'John Luck Pikkerd' here? --Q For there is no sea, with out the dolphin -- Oppian He was a man, all and all, I shall not look upon his lik\SLMR\TAG He's a potato Jim!, Let's gouge out all of his eyes Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see? I am programmed in multiple pleasuring techniques. --D\SL I am what I am and that's all that I am I did it. I killed them all. Timothy I don't bite. Well, that's wrong. I do bite. -K'Ehleyr I hate questionarres-Worf I like my species the way it is. - Worf to Locutus I never lie when I have sand in my boots! -- LaForge I think not, said Descartes; and promptly disappeared. I'm Beverly...,I'm Geordi...,We are Hugh... I'm not the one that misplaced the Deltivid asteroid bel\ If you prick me, do I not... Leak? -- Data Is that funny? Is that a joke? --Data Is that lemon in your tea? No, s'lime. It's comin' apart, Lad! - Scotty Listen, have you seen the dolphins yet? -Geordi Look at all the Indians! - General Custer Modem, said the gardener when he'd finished the lawn.. Mr. Worf, fire phasers at @FN@ ... Zzzzzap! Mr. Worf, fire! My favorite part of dinner!- Riker RESISTENCE IS FUTILE.... The Borg Scotty! Beam me aboard! Aye sir! Will a 2x4 do? Scotty, I've fallen and I can't beam up! Scotty, beam me up another Blue Wave message. Scotty, beam us a board! (2x4 drops from sky) Sex is better than reading; no overdue fines. --Jean-L\SLMR\TAG Sir! Klingons on the starboard bow! Well, scrape 'em o\SL Such grudges. Give us a kiss, Worf. - Q Take my Worf... please. --Data That was the stun setting. This is not. That's no tagline! It's Odo! The Dolphin, ne'er has anything been more divine-Oppian The above Statement is absolutely True. --God The security of the Enterprise is of Paramount importanc\ They are not the hell your whales. - Spock We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him Napoleon Worf! Still struggling up the evolutionary ladder? - Q $1000 reward for finding this man: 'Ah! I have access.' --Data 'Only a vaRool would use such language in public.' --Rike 'Perhaps you and the jerko here could come with us.' --Lw 'Saddle up, father!' --Alexander, to Worf 'The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter\SLMR\TAGLIN 'Transporting really is the safest way to travel.' --Geor\S (((((((HYPNOTIC)))))))(((((((TAGLINE))))))) (A)bort, (R)etry, or (I)nfluence with hammer. (C)ontrol (A)lt (B)ye (Ice rocks hit the hull) Captain, we are being hailed. (beep) Help, I've fallen and can't reach the beer. * <-- Tribble o <-- Jean Luc Tribble * <-Tribble <-Tribble after a close shave * <-Tribble <-Tribble after a close shave. * This is a tribble. # This is a tribble on drugs. */ <==-- Tribble with a lightsaber --------------------- cut here -------------------------- ----> If you cut here, you'll ruin your monitor. <---- --T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E-- ... Scotty!, Hurry beam me u%#$& NO CARRIER ... and eliminate and wipe out redundancy! ...and my special thanks to the Other Forty-Nine! ...and then I woke up! ...but what I really want to do is direct. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's 586. 15 of every stamp is for storage 186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW. 1st we shoot all the lawyers, 2nd we strangle them, 3rd.. 24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case. Hmmmm..... 2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!! 320 33mHz ain't fast enough! 4 food groups: fast, frozen, microwaved, and junk 4 food groups: fast, frozen, microwaved, and junk. 43% of all statistics are worthless. 9600bps and under are insults to HST'ers -Hacker's law #5 :.::: ::..: ::.::. :..:: Tagline in Braille <%>{ 1 fish, <%>{ 2 fish, <%>{ red fish, <%>{ blue fish <<---- THIS SPACE FOR SALE ---->> That was *not* manual override. -- Data >> BEER.CAN not found, USER.EXE not loaded << A 100% right of return both ways. A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds... A Thousand points of Broccoli! A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead. A cats worst enemy is a closed door. A clean desk is a sign of a -sick- mind A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. A clean disk is the sign of a warped drive. A clean, neat, desk is a sign of a very sick mind. A closed mouth gathers no feet... A committee has 6 or more legs and no brain. A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you. A lie that can be passed off as truth becomes truth. A little nukie never hurt anyone! A phaser is the universal communicator. Worf A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice. A piano is a piano is a piano. Gertrude Steinway. A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago A single fact can spoil a good argument. A stitch in time would have confused Einstein. A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart. A tribble a day keeps the Klingons away......... A wise man once said.... I don't know... A wok is what you throw at a wabbit. A)bort R)etry G)et a stick and kill it. AAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse ASCII and ye shall receive. ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI! After we pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is NOT our friend! Ah, come on, just this one last little feature. Ah, my trombone. Let me show you how it works. Riker Air Geordis - TNG footwear Alex, I'll take Things Only I Know for $1000. All I need to know I learned from my cat. All babies speak Klingonese All hope abandon, ye who enjoy tax forms. All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here. All programers are optimists. Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out. An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills Ancient Greeks made dolphin-killing punishable by death. And God said, I'll buy a vowel. Another nearly-full box of Smarties!! Anything not nailed down is a cat toy... Are they made from real Girl Scouts? Are those cookies made with real Girl Scouts? Are you prepared to defend yourself? Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity As I said before, I never repeat myself. As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716 As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. Assumption is the mother of all screwups... BASIC isn't; C stands for Confusing... BBS: a method to triple your phone bill. BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding. Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch! Back Up My Hard Drive? I don't have a license yet! Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. Barney and Baby Bop MUST DIE! Be Nice to Your Enemies, It Drives Them Nuts. Be excellent to each other.. Beam me aboard Scotty. Aye, will a 2x4 do captain? Beam me up, Scotty, This planet sucks! Beam me up, Scotty, but leave the others here. Beat me, whip me, make me read my Qmail! Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.... Beep! Invalid Input. I take only cash.... Behaviorism is the art of pulling habits out Behind every succesfull man is woman with nothing to wear Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression) Beware of Geeks bearing gifs. Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers. Beware of quantum ducks. Quark! Quark! Big things come in .QWK packages. Biography: One of the terrors of death. Blessed are the Greeks Blessed our young they will inherit our national debt. Boldly going Forward because we can't find Reverse! Boldly going where no modem has gone before... Borg Empire: Equal opportunity Assimilator!!!! Borg saying: We came. We absorbed. We left. Borg spreadsheet program: Locutus 1-2-3 Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3 Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER BorgBurgers - We do it our way; your way is irrelevant. BorgBurgers: We do it OUR way. Yours is irrelevant BorgDOS v5.0 - Assimilate Another? [Y/n] Borger King - We do it our way! Your way is irrelevant! Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air. Brain: apparatus used to think we think. Break up a relationship - buy a computer!! C program run, C program crash, C programmer cry. CA bumper sticker: Cover me, I'm changing lanes. CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress CPAV Warning:(S)top (C)ontinue (B)urn infected disk CPU - Random number generator Can you do the Picard Maneuver in a Grand Am? Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly! Captain, I protest. I am NOT a merry man! - Worf Captain, phasers and photons down, get the hand phaser ou\ Captain, the UARTs won't take this Speed! Cavorting about like that isn't proper behavior. Picard Censorship is something I do like! Cereal Killer Strikes Again! Cap'n Crunch found dead... Children: Pure love contained in soft packages. Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. Claravoiant meeting canceled due to unforseen events. Clones are people two. Closing on ship target. Music on! Fire away! Cold pizza: the generic breakfast Coming Soon. Mouse Support for Turbo Edlin! Complaints? Write them here legibly [] <- Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space. Computers are OUR business, our ONLY business Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are Computers can never replace human stupidity. Congratulations Data, it's a girl. Troy - The Offsprin Constant change is here to stay. Constipated Pakleds: We look for things, things to make\SLMR\TAGLI Consult a real expert - Call your mother! Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping. Copywight 1991 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved Crewman Green, step on that rock! Crusher: Worf, have you seen Wesley? Worf: No, I haven'\ Crusher: Worf, have you seen Wesley? ... Worf: No, I have\SLMR\TAGLIN Cut my pizza in six slices, please; I can't eat eight. DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAG (UNDER PENALTY OF LAW) DOS + Windows + ATM < OS/2 2.0 DOS Tip : Don't use DOS. DOS is just an operating system that runs Windows 3.1 DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C: mean? Daddy, what does RESET mea Dammit Bones, I'm a captain, not a doctor! Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline writer. Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a doctor! Hey, wait a minut\S Damn this hobby is expensive! Damn! Outta Antimatter. I told Geordi $50 wasn't enough Darmok and Jhilad at Tanagra Data, data everywhere, and not a byte to eat! Dead, huh? Well, that's one less thing. Beverly Deadwood. Nineteenth Century Earth. The Ancient West. Death is proven to be 99.9% fatal to all laboratory rats. Deep Space Nine: The Third Coming of Star Trek! Definition of Terror: A female Klingon with PMS. Dessert? I'll take a piece of cherry . Detach the saucer, Data. Don't spill the tea! Did you know that no-one ever reads these things? Discoveries are made by not following instructions. Divers do it better under pressure. Divers do it deeper. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Ask Data. Do Not Attempt to Traverse a Chasm in Two Leaps... Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them. Do unto others JUST BEFORE they do unto you! Does Windows 3.1 come with a Hard Drive? Does anybody have a ; Reminder key? Does history record any case where a majority was right? Doing my part to preserve order in the universe Don't drink and park, accidents cause people Don't take life so seriously. It won't last. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo... Dr. McCoy, I hate your #*@%ing human guts. Discussion? Dr. Soong did not intend me to be used this way. Data Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream Duh. . . I didn't know FORMAT C: did that!? Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me. ERROR: Unable to come up with a good tagline. Eagles Soar!, but weasels arn't sucked into jets! Earthquakes are Earth's way of saying, WAKE UP !!!!!!!!!! Eat any good books lately Q Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it? Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim! Error - [A]bort, [R]etry, [F]ake like it's working... Error 216: Tagline out of paper Eschew obfuscation! Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Every little BYTE helps Every man's work is a portrait of himself. Everybody remember where we parked. -- Kirk Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden. Evil Grin #13 <<<<>>>> Evolution is RELIGIOUS because it can't be proven! Exam is a four-letter word for torture... Excuse me, do you mind if I squish in here? - Odo Experience is a good teacher but her fees are high Experience: What you get when you don't get what you want FILE NOT FOUND..... Should I fake it? [Y/n]......... Fax me no questions, I'll Fax you no lies! Feed your faith and starve your doubts to death. Feet Smell? Nose Run? Hey, you're upside down! Fiddle: Friction of a horse's tail on a cat's entrails. Fine, Fine...Have your Klingon servent get some chairs! Fire at Will! >ZAP< THANK you Data...I mean, 'Number On\SLMR\TAGLIN For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country. For discussion only. Not to be relied upon. Format all 10? Only 3 fit in the slot. Fraud(n): A telephone number starting with 1-900 Freedom of religion is also freedom FROM religion. . . From the creative workshops of Soong, Inc. G=Guns, PG=Plenty of Guns, PG-13=More than 12 guns... Geneology: chasing your own tale. Get off my kitchen floor...will ya! Get your grubby hands off my tagline! I stole it first! Ghosts are merely unsubstantiated roomers. God has always been hard on the poor. Going tagless has been a freeing experience! Going to fly? Walk, you'll get there faster! Good day for flying but bad day for landings.... Got arrested for going 14400 in a 2400 zone. Ground yourself, THEN hug your motherboard! Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!! Guess who's coming to dinner. -- Chekov Guinan's secret power: her hat is a solar panel. Happiness is a twit filter... Happiness is finding special characters  Happiness is your favorite program moving to Windows. Hard work never killed anyone but why take a risk? Have the boy sent to the bridge. - Picard He that hath ears to hear, let him hear. He who laughs, lasts. He's alive, Jim. Should I shoot him again? He's dead Jim. You get his tricorder, I'll get his wall\S He's dead Jim. You take his phaser and I'll get his wall\SL He's dead Jim... Grab his wallet! He's got a magnet!!! Everybody BACKUP!!!!!!!! He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged. Hell with Pascal and C. I am a QuickBasic Snob. Hello, I am part number ޺۳ݳݳ Help! I'm parked diagonally in a parallel universe. Help, I'm modeming! And I can't hang up! Her last birthday cake looked like a prairie fire! Here Tag! C'mon Tag! Good Tag. Good boy! Hey Odo, got any more of that Jell-O in the 'fridge? ...O\SLMR\TAGL Hey! Your Trakball is upside down! Hi! I'm a tagline virus! Steal me & join in the fun! Hire the morally handicapped Hiya, Doc! What's cookin'? - Data Hold on - wait, maybe the answer's looking for you. Honor would be better served if I were your mate. Worf Housework can kill you if done right. How come all the buttons keep flying off my shirt? How could I have downloaded a virus?!?! It said NO CARRI How do frogs die? Ker-mit suicide How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand! How much can I get away with and still go to heaven? How'm I flyin'? Dial 1-800-BORG-YOU. -Borg How's this for diplomacy? Shoot them all! --Kirk Human Intelligence. The greatest oxymoron ever! Humans: The species that should have never been... I AM RELAXED! - Worf I BBS because no one can read my handwriting I DO NOT...I do not yell. -- Worf I Had A Life Once, Now I Have A Computer I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse! I Just can not resist a little fun along the way. :-) I am Locutus of Borg. Do you have any Grey Poupon? I am Locutus of Borg. I demand Earl Grey tea - for 10000. I am afraid that is beyond my design parameters. Data I am. Therefore, I think. I think. I believe I will take this opportunity to remove my ears. I call my computer Hole in the Desk I came. I saw. I charged it. I can SPELL, I just can't TYPE worth a hoot ! I can assure you that size will not be a problem. Worf I can't be overdrawn, I still have more checks! I can't believe my computer's on fire. I can't, Doctor. I might hurt you. Worf I could be arguing in my spare time. I didn't know it was impossible when I did it. I do know a few things about anatomy, Jean-Luc. Beverly I don't know much about panda bears, Number One. Picard I don't steal taglines -- I replicate them. I don't want to think. I just want to be... I fear you must blame your own perverse urges. Picard I feel fine.....Everything seems a little smaller. - Pica\S I find push buttons very depressing...... I got it all together, then forgot where I put it. I had a handle on life, but it broke. I had a life once... Now I have a computer. I hate making predictions; especially about the future! I have a mind like a steel...uh...thingamajig... I have a speech impediment....my foot!!! I have something BETTER than chocolate. Riker I idiot-proof my programs,but along comes a bigger idiot. I just play here. I just steal 'em, I don't explain 'em. I just steal them, I don't write them. I know so little, but I know it fluently... I like Boolean logic. NOT! I love my computer. It's made in Taiwa~##$ ` #@ I may not always be perfect, but I'm always me. I only counted 100 dalmatians...!!! I prefer the company of equals. - Riker I remember the words. I don't understand. I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars. I sense... *SLAP* Not while we're on the bridge, Will! I still miss my ex-wife - but my aim is improving! I tell them there's no problems...Only Solutions... I thought DEL *.* -really- deleted the files! I took thee for thy better. Take thy fortune. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. I used to have a handle on life, then DOS closed it... I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem. I want everything; do you have it?? I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off.... I was just stopped by the LAPD and boy am I beat ! I wasn't always like this, Lieutenant. Picard I wish I had a snappy Trek Tagline to put here... I wish life had a scroll-back buffer..... I would ask that you stop fiddling with my ears. Data I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole! I wrote my own benchmark, my machine is now 500MHz I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money. I'd really like to lay one across your teeth. Beverly I'll have one brain on drugs with bacon, toast and juice. I'll have what the guy on the floor is having... I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it. I'll see you in hell before I'd do that. Ro I'm SO confused... I'm an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate. I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk. I'm bloody sick of standing here every day. O'Brien I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing. I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact. I'm in shape ... Rounds a shape isn't it? I'm leaving my body to science fiction. I'm losin' it! - Geordi I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't met... I'm not a complete idiotseveral parts are missing. I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged. I'm not dead; I'm metabolically challenged. I'm not just one of your snuggle-girls, Will. Beverly I'm not lost! I'm locationally challenged. I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am. I'm not schizophrenic. It's this guy beside me! I'm on the corner of Walk and Don't Walk I'm on the corner of Walk and Don't Walk! I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want? I'm saving my money for when they get Phaser Printers! I'm sorry, this tagline is not an apology! I'm spending a year dead for Tax Purposes I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere... I'm the person your mother warned you about... I'm too skeptical to deny the possibility of anything... I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. I've fallen...but I'll be back...Arnold Schwarzeneg I've got 256K of RAM, so why can't I run Windows 3.0? I've got a mind like a... a... what's that thing called? I've used Basic so long, my brain has gonesub permanently I@love~my$computer,;It's%made in Taiwa~##$ ` #@ If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs... If Data is fully functional, can he get a woman pregnan\S If I save the whales, where do I keep them? If I save time, when do I get it back ? If I want your opinion I'll beat it from you If I were you, who'd be me? If Q was female, would he be called O? If Q were castrated would he become ... O ??? If Q were castrated, would he become O? If anything -can't- go wrong, it will If at first you don't succeed, call it Ver 1.0 If at first you don't succeed, try skydiving ... If humans have orgasms, do the Borg have Borgasms? If it ain't broke, break it and charge for repair. If it works, rip it apart and find out why! If it's not broke, let me take a crack at it. If it's stupid, but it works, then it's not stupid. If only Einstein had a 486DX-33.... like I do... If plugging it in doesn't help, turn it on. If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit If rabbits feet are so lucky,what happened to the rabbit If speed scares you, try Micro$oft Windows. If speed scares you, try Windows... If the shoe fits, put it in your mouth. If there was a nuclear bombing, would I be alive to care? If there was a wait for Q to show up, would there be a Q \SLMR\ If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance. If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny. If we left the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy. If winning isn't important then why keep score? If you can read this, you're irrelevant. -Borg If you can't beat em', mod em'. If you need a calculator, its too complex. If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it! Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines. Illiterate? Write for a free brochure! Immorality will continue until beatings improve. In case of fire, yell FIRE! In it's former life, my computer was a Cray... Indeed, Captain Picard, you have found him. Spock Insanity is just a state of mind. Insanity runs in my family; it practically gallops... Insert disk with \HURTME.COM and strike Worf when ready. Intriguing. I did not know humans were so capable. Data Is it still paranoia if they ARE ALL out to get me? Is it still paranoia if they ARE ALL out to get me??? Is this yours? Your dog left it on my lawn... Is this yours? Your dog left it on my lawn ... It can't be full...I STILL HAVE SUBDIRECTORIES ! It depends on which end he tries to light... It doesn't work, but it looks pretty. It has many other uses as well. Allow me. Worf It is better to be brief than boring. It is fatal to live too long. It is, after all, only a moment in the infinity of time. It said insert disk #3 - but onty two will fit... It works better when you turn the brightness up. It's a fine line between fishing & standing still It's dj vu all over again. It's not GEEK - it's SOCIALLY CHALLENGED, dammit! It's not a person, damnit! It's a Borg! It's not easy having an overbearing parent! - Troi It's not in the manual !!!!! It's not the money I want, it's the stuff. It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead, Jim. It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim! Jesus saves...Passes to Moses..Shoots....Scores! Join the Group Mind - become a Borg Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot. Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep. Just another inmate in this ASYLUM!!! Just cannot resist a little fun along the way. :-) Just for today..... do not anger. Just give me what the Dr.ordered..OHHOOO Dr Pepper.. KPLA, Klingon radio: All glory, all the time! Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging! Kill them all! .... Let God sort them out. Kill'em All ... Let God Sort Them Out. Klingon Thanksgiving Grace: Let us prey... LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer Laddie, ya think ya might like ta ... rephrase that? Last yur I kudnt spel modjerater now I are won. Law of Insurance and Taxes - Whatever goes up, stays up. Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it. Lets all take the TIME to really LISTEN 2 r KIDS Life - brief interlude between nothingness and etern Life Facts..Death, Taxes, and THEY will Tax us to Death Life can be great if you live it to the fullest! Life is a banquet & most suckers are starving! Like, I think my bottle absorbed my Beer, eh. Liposuction will destroy your FAT Little boats should keep near the shore. Lore: Takes a licking and keeps on twitching. MFM/RLL/SCSI/ESDI/IDE.... what's next MS-DOS....DR DOS' Sister. MacIntosh:Computer with training wheels you can't remove. Madness takes its toll - please have exact change Make Headlines..use a corduroy pillow.... Make me an offer. I have a computer to support!! Make me an offer. I have a computer to support!! Make me breakfast and perhaps I'll consider it. Troi Man looks into the abyss, and sees himself. Man who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet, many moons! Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence. Mary had a little lamb. The doctor was surprised. Master of all I survey (at the moment, empty pizza boxes) McBorg: Over 50 million assimilated! Meditation is not what you Think. Meet the new Boss--same as the old Boss... Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves! Memory is a thing we forget with. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. Method acting.. I'm vaguely aware of it. - Picard Microbrain, growl for me, let me know you still care. Q Military intelligence is a contradiction of terms. Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open. Miracle owes its origin to the negation of thought. Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting. Monday is the root of all evil! Money Not Found: Abort, Retry, break out Quicken? Money is the root of all wealth. More like Woody Woodpecker with a perm! Mr Worf! Do you intend to blast a hole in the viewscreen? Mr Worf... Fire at Will.. >BZZZT< ... Hey, where'd Riker \SL Mr. Scott, energize. Hey! Where'd that pink bunny come f\SLM Multitasking causes schizophrenia.. My Dog ate my REP Packet!!! My Mother loves ME! It's the computer she hates. My dad hit me only once - with the Buick My hat covers my head.... Just like hair used to!! My haystack had no needle! My mother is NEVER on time! - Worf My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ... My other vehicle is a galaxy class starship. My reality check just bounced. My systems are only programmed for one at a time. Data My teeth aren't the sharpest in the world. Ro NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself Name:޺۳ݳݳ Rank:޺۳ݳ Serial No:޺۳ Never eat more than you can lift. Never enough time, unless you're serving it. Never park your hard disk in a tow-away zone. Never test for an error you don't know how to handle. New Mexico? Sorry, we don't do ship to foreign countries New strain of system-trashing virus : WINDOWS Nietzche is pietzche, but Sartre is smartre. Night of the living dead chipmunks No person ever became wicked all at once. No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard. No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in Outer Space. No, Q, I meant a BUD light! Noah! Come quick! There's water in the basement! Nobody roots for Goliath. Nonsense, no man I know can do it that way. O'Brien Northern Exposure: Watch out for the frostbite! Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir. Not, I think, today, Commander. - Picard Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible. Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up. Notice how easily it detaches. Ro Now that I've given up hope I feel much better... Null modems were created when God got no handshake. OK Scotty, NOW! Detonate and energize! I mean....... OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric. OPERATOR ERROR: Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah! OPINION: Where moderation means attack. OS/2 2 ..Will it send DOS & Windows the way of CP/M ????? OS/2 VirusScan - Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y) OS/2...Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates. Of course I'm running Windows NO CARRIER Oh Tasha, See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me! Oh no, not another learning experience! Oh very clever Worf, eat any good books lately? Oh, Picard, I will enjoy you morning, noon and night! Oh, well... never mind! Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC! Old age is better than the alternative. On the other hand..you have five different fingers Once you understand your computer it is obsolete One Klingon Flea to another...Meet you on the next ridge. One person's is another's . One way to better your lot is to do a lot better... Only in your dreams, Commander. Troi Oops, time for Ponn Farr! Our OS which art in CPU - UNIX be thy name ..... Our necessities are few but our wants are endless... Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees! Ow. I believe I have overexerted myself.- Data Oxymorons... military intelligence and tech support! PATH=harddrive;drawer;desktop;pocket;boxincloset;boxunder Parallel processors share the task. Pardon me, do you have any grey poop on? Path = Wandering Considerably. People can be very frightened of change. Kirk STVI People! Can't live with em, Can't live without em! People! Can't live with em,Can't live without em Peter Norton is the Betty Crocker of software! Pets are not just for Christmas, but for a LIFETIME!!!! Pets: pure love contained in soft packages. Phasers don't kill people...Unless you set them too high Picard to Lwaxana: Not THAT kind of 'Engage'! Picard to bridge, where am I? Plagarism prohibited. Derive carefully. Plasma is another matter. Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message Please recycle this tagline. Once is not enough. Please think when you drink.... Please, doctor, not while my wife is on board. O'Brien Political Correctness is a Borg plot. Pound forehead on keyboard to continue. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.... Prejudice is the reason of fools. Voltaire. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit Pro & con are opposites, what about progress & congress? Proceed with Caution - Twisted Mind Under Construction! Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry. Program too small to fit into memory. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Prune Juice. A warriors drink! Push any key. Then push the any other key. Put it to the wall, Mr. LaForge. - Picard Put your hard drive to your ear. Can you hear the C: ? Qagh -- it's not just for breakfast anymore! Quick! Close your mind!! Something might get in. RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory REAL programmers use undocumented DOS calls RIP... This tagline had now been ripped off..... Rainy days and automatic weapons get me down.... Read the docs. Wow, what a radical concept! Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym. Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek. Reduce Carbon Dioxide emmissions - STOP Breathing Reduce brain fat. Eat Moral Fiber. Riker, AKA Number One. A spy for the Borg? Ronald Regan: Milli Vanilli of presidents. Rule #167: niether a borrower nor a lender be. --Robin Le\SLM S met ing's hap ening t my k ybo rd . . SEGA and Nintendo are combining, they call it Windows NT STICK \'stik\ n. 1: A boomerang that doesn't work. STRING space corrupt? But I always use TAPE! SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue... Salvation is only a Beer Bottle away....... Same to you and whatever you meant by that! Sane? Hell, if I was sane why would I be here? Schizophrenia beats sysoping alone. Scott me up, Beamie! Scotty! Hurry, beam me u....* NO CARRIER Second star to the right and straight on till morning. Sector Not Found (A)bort, (R)etry, (C)offee? Security, confine Ensign @LN@ to the brig. Security, get that floozy off my bridge. Picard Send more tourists..... the last ones were delicious! Set phasers on tickle! Set phasers to extreme itching! She canna take anneh more, Cap'n! She sells C shells Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime errors! Shoot your program and put it out of its memory! Shoplifters with the runs take Clepto Bismol Show me a sane man. I'll cure him for you. Shut up, Spock! We're rescuing you! --McCoy Shut up, kid. -- Guinan Silly Wabbit, QWKs are for kids! Sir, I've been meaning to dicuss these feelings. Troi Six megs, two monitors, and an attitude Smash forehead on keyboard to continue... Smile! You're on Candid Modem! Smile, but sharpen your knives. Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to. So many idiots... too few flame-throwers... So many lawyers, so few bullets. So, my brother is human after all. - Robert Picard Society like air, is necessary but not complete for life. Some Do, Some Don't, Some Will and Some Won't. Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under... Some people are, through no fault of their own, sane. Somebody got up on the wrong side this morning. Riker Somehow, I can't see myself doing it for money. Geordi Sorry, I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference! Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? [yep/nope] Southern DOS: Y'all Reckon? (Yep/Nope) Spaghetti code means job security. Spare time? You're lookin' at it. Speak softly and carry a two-handed sword. Spice up your love life....kiss a Klingon today! Split personality? Who, us? Stand down from battle stations, and Ensign change your p\SLMR Standards are wonderful: so many from which to choose! Star Trek XXVII - The Search for Shatner's Teeth. Start slow and taper off. Stay back! I have a modem and I know how to use it!! Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly. Stick to your talent and the cows will be well tended. Still going! Nothing outlasts Data! He keeps going and \SLMR Stop tagline theft! Copyright your tagline (c) Stop what you're doing and TAKE A SHOWER!!! Stress- n. Doing a tight 180-dregree U-turn at Warp 9.5. Support wildlife, throw a party. Sure, Patrick, but will the Pontiac do warp nine?! Sure, drinking kills brain cells, but only the weak ones. Sure, we just route the main sensor through Data's cat. TROI: I feel pain, GREAT pain! ... RIKER: Glad you liked \SL TWO THINGS ARE UNIVERSAL. HYDROGEN AND STUPIDITY. Tagline Lotto: <- Scratch here for prize. Tagline error. Contact your systems programmer. Tagline frequencies are Open.... Tagline theft is a compliment. Tagline wanted. Apply within ====================> Taglines \'tag-linz \ The bumperstickers of BBS'ing. Taglines are irrelevant. You will be assimilated into the\SLMR Taglines...the electronic bumper sticker... Take a bite out of crime .. Abolish the IRS! Take no friends and leave no enemies. Take two crows and caw me in the morning. Tell me more about these habits. Beverly Thank you, God. Keep it up!!! That was so fast, can you show me one more time? Troi That's enough, Data! That's the nuttiest idea you've had, Counselor. Geordi The 486SX: Intel's test of your gullibility The 486SX: Intel's test of your gullibility! The Away Team went on a mission and all I got was this lo\SLMR\TAGLIN The Borg are coming! Quick!! Try and look useless!!! The Borg assimilated my race and all I got was this lousy\SLMR\TAG The Counselor and I will be indisposed today. Riker The Dead Shall Walk the Earth and Dine on Flesh The Electric Chair Choice: Regular or Extra Crispy? The USS Reagan -- To boldly ... um ... I forget... The best defense is to stay out of range. The buck doesn't even slow down here. The current death rate? One per person, of course. The days of the digital watch are numbered The evidence before the court is incontrovertible... The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion. The future is like the present, only longer. The future isn't what it used to be. The heart is wiser than the intellect... The hell with the prime directive, let's kill something. The highest bidder catches the most politicians. The immoratal words of Socrates -- I drank what? The irony of life is that no one gets out alive The irony of life is that no one gets out alive... The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on... The number you call from has been disconnected. The occipital area of my head seems to have impacted... The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation. The past should be a springboard, not a hammock. The pen is the tongue of the mind. The price of purity is purists. The road to success is under construction... The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time. The trick in overcoming temptation, is to play dead. The ultimate Turn on. When they shoot at you.. and miss! The universe is laughing behind your back The worst thing about censorship is . Their are trhee things wrong here. There are times when I long for a Klingon woman. Worf There is a tiny plant here, murmuring water, water. There is intelligent life on Earth, but we are just visit\SLM There is no gravity--The earth sucks! There is one God, but which one is He? There once was a [ ] from [ ] whose [ ] was There's always 1 more SOB than you counted on Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary. These aren't my shorts -- they bend ! These things on my nose aren't just for show. Ro They DO make 'em like they used to. They're baaack! Thin may be in, but fat's where it's at! Things are not as bad as they seem - they're worse Third of Five, six of one, half a dozen of the other This Charlie Brown must have been a very wise man. This game is exceedingly simple. Data This guy has blown me off for the last time. Geordi This information fills a much needed gap This is a Ferengi Tagline. You owe me 500 credits for re\SLMR\TAG This is a Tagline mirror> - | <- Tribble Archery *^ *^ <- Tribbles Praying *}- Tribble Olympics: Archery * <-- Grandpa Tribble with his cane * * <- Tribbles Snorkelling ...and sometimes the bear eats you. ...but there are no old, bold pilots. ...no thanks, I'm already having one. ...would you like me to sing you a song? ...ywercs lla og tsuj sgniht semitemoS 113 grams, 10 milliliters ... He's lead, Jim. 186,282.3959 mi/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW. 640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates, 1981 7 Days without pizza makes one weak... 9 out of 10 men who tried Camels prefer women. 9.8 m/s: Not just a good idea; it's the LAW! :) :D :O :( :[ ;) 8) B) :> |I :P =) :S :B :] :\ <----- The information went data way -----> A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. A cult is a religion without political power. A filthy Data is Gunked, hosed down and sand blasted. A fool and his money are my two favorite people. A fool and his money are SYSOP material. A Mogwai is simply a highly evolved Tribble. A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat! A procrastinator's work is never done. A surprised Data is propositioned by the E's Computer. A Tale of Two Zities -Dickens's cookbook A tribble a day keeps the Klingons well fed. A truly lazy person is never bored. A victim of a prank, Geordi puts a banana over his eyes A: I don't know and I don't care. ABORT: Drivel filter is compromised! Actually it is an interplanetary greeting. Advisor: The guy who told you how to screw up After a long bath Worf sees the fleas as his true friends After much thought Picard assumes the bowling ball phase. Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows. Albatross, get your albatross .... All government is theft, some just steal less. All right, set phasers to deep fat fry! All right, who's been cooking hot dogs in the Warp Drive? All stressed out, and no one to choke. All true wisdom is found in taglines. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. Anal retentive people don't give a crap. Anatomically Correct beats Policically Correct ANY DAY! And Adam asked What's a Headache? And God said: E = mv - Ze/r, and there was light. And I thought *I* had problems! And now a word from our sponsor... And now... The Larch. And you thought CHAOS ment rush-hour traffic! Another day, another shaving accident. Answers: $1. Correct answers: $5. Dumb looks: Free! Anything that can go wr ... # ^% Bus Error -- Core Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key. Are Cheerios really donut seeds? Are you a Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head. Are you out of my mind? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ASCII stupid question, get stupid ANSI Aural sex produces eargasms. AUTOEXEC.BAT = Lee Iacocca as a vampire. Awwww its just a Harmless little Bunny! Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (S)ell Computer Bad command or file name. Go sit in corner. Bad Command or Filename. Or maybe you screwed up. Barnum was wrong....it's more like every 30 seconds! Basic Airline Flying: Keep the pointy end forward Be wewy wewy quiet...I'm hunting Womulins!! Beam me up Scotty. This isn't the men's room. Beam me up, there's no intelligent life here! Behaviorist psychology -- pulling habits out of rats. Being one man too many, Ensign Extra is booted off the E. Best file compression around! DEL *.* - 100% comp. Bill Gates made $6.3 Billion selling us MS-DOS? Bird lives. Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier. Borg Mail Reader v2.1a  Tagline theft is futile. Borg Mail Reader v2.1a  Taglines are irrelevent. Borger King: We do it our way. Yours is irrelevant. Borger King: Have it our way. Your way is irrelevant. Boss spelled backwards is double-SOB Bow down to Rick Wakeman! Brain Disengaged; Call Back Tomorrow. BRAIN.COM file closed. (A)rgue (R)etry (F)orget It BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding. Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore... Breath Deep, The Gathering Gloom... Bring home the bacon? HECK! I Brought the PIG! BUFFERS=7 FILES=5, 2nd Down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! But I thought YOU did the backups... But of course, it *is* only my opinion. But soft, what bird through yonder window breaks? But Windows bashing is my job... C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files ^^^oo^^^ C:\DAMSEL.EXE crosslinked w/DISTRESS.COM--RESCUE?(y/n) C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN C:\DOS\CRASH C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN C:\DOS\RUN\WINDOWS C:\DOS\RUN\SLOW C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN C:\DOS\RUN\AMUCK Canadian DOS prompt: EH?\> Canadian DOS: Yer sure, eh? [y/n] Captain ... one .. harmless ... little ... Tribble? Captain please, not in front of the Klingons. Captain! The UARTs kenna' take these speeds! Captain! Someone has snorted all the dilithium crystals. Captain, I need to kill someone. Worf Captain, please. Not in front of the Klingons. Captain, we have engaged dataschlurp mode! Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero! Horace (8 BC) Caution: This stuff is addictive... Click..Click..Click..Damn! Out of taglines! COFFEE.COM not found: (A)bort, (R)eheat, (S)nooze Cogito ergo cogito ! Coming Soon!! Mouse Support for Edlin!!!! Coming Soon. Mouse Support for Turbo Edlin! Coming Soon... Turbo Edlin! Coming soon: Netware for Nintendo Computer, microwave decks 5-10 until piping hot. BEEP! Computers ARE the future. Oh the future looks grim! Confidence is telling someone how to use his Twit Filter. Confuse people: start making sense. Conservatism is the worship of dead revolutions. Contains less than 2% U.S. RDA for this echo Control-Alt-Delete thyself Copy from another: plagiarism. Copy from many: research. Could be an ever-opening flower. Crime does not pay... as well as politics. Crime wouldn't pay if the Government ran it! Critical error: (S)hout, (S)mash, (B)uy a mac. Curiosity didn't kill the cat. I got 'im with the mower! CURSOR: What you become when your system crashes. Cut life support to all quarters with children * Picard Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C:..... mean ? Dammit, Jim, I'm a floor wax, not a dessert topping! Damn It Jim!! I'm a Doctor not a Tagline writer!!!!! Darn! Out of tribble tags! Darn! STILL out of tribble tags! Data becomes vilently ill with a computer virus. DATA COMPRESSION: What You Get When You Squish An Android Data convinces the Coke machine that Pepsi is better. Data enjoys a smoke after interfacing with the Computer. Data- It IS the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Captain! Deanna tries to read my mind and sees taglines. Deanna tries to read Picard's mind and sees Pontiac. Death: The unfortunate side effect of attacking a cop. Decay, inherent in all component things. Buddha-last wrds DESQview: Better windows DESQview: Faster than a Cray (running Windows) DEVICEHIGH: Your device driver on drugs. Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans. Did Qmodem originate in the Q continuum? Difference between a virus & windows? Viruses never fail. Direct from the Ministry of Silly Walks. Do I smoke after sex? I never looked. Do it now! There might be a law against it tomorrow. Do not expose this tagline to direct sunlight. Do televangelists do more than lay people? Do you feel Lucky, punk??? Do you know JESUS? If so, tell him he owes me $2. Does bouncing count? Does the E's Computer have enough RAM to run Windows? Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines. Don't be a schmuck... BE A SCHMUCK! Don't hate yourself in the morning --- sleep until noon! Don't kill the whale. Don't let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you. Don't Panic!!! Don't play stupid with me - I'm better at it. DON'T STEAL - The government hates competition. Don't surround yourself with yourself. Don't Think!!!!! SCHEME !!!!! Don't torture yourself...that's my job. DOS is todays CP/M - Windows is tomorrows CP/M! DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse. DOS never says Excellent command or filename... DOS: Tells a computer what to do with itself! DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something... Double your drive space! Delete Windows! Drive A: not responding.. .Formating C: instead Dust-balls - The cheap man's tribble. Earth- Mostly Harmless (HHGTG 2nd ed.) Eat triticale: 3.56 quadrillion tribbles can't be wrong! Editing is a rewording activity. Electric chairs are period furniture: they end a sentence Elegant Frankfurter - A haute dog Elvis is alive and doing my laundry. Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself. English is wonderful, when used correctly. Ensgin Expendable, step on that rock! - Kirk Ensign Singer... Make it sew. Ensign Walnut approaches Dr. Crusher with caution. Ensign, engage datasuck mode! Entropy ain't what it used to be. Error #1511: Brain Offline Error 005: Windows loading. Come back tomorrow. Error 96: Dead mouse in hard drive. Error : (A)bort (R)etry (S)ell it Error finding REALITY.SYS - Universe halted. Error in REALITY.SYS. Run BIGBANG.EXE (Y/N) Error reading FAT table. Try SKINNY one? (Y/N) ERROR: CPU not found ERROR: REALITY.SYS Corrupted -- Universe unrecoverable Even the dullest candle burns brighter in the dark. Ever have one of those millennia? Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I... Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid. Everyone is entitled to my opinion. Excited, Spock opens a box full of pointy ear tips. Eyeing little girls with bad intent, heh. Fatal mouse error. (B)ury or (R)eplace? File not found, but if you'll hum a few bars... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) File Not Found. Loading something that looks similar. File Not Found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ake It? Files not found: Delete user instead? (Y/y)? First Shalt thou pull out the Holy Pin! Friends don't let friends use Windoze. Friends don't let friends use XMODEM! Frostbite Falls Minnesota, home of Watsa Matta U. Gee Wiz, I didn't know DOS is that stupid! Gee, I wonder what this key does. General Failure reading drive A: Please remove your fist. Give it to Riker- he'll eat anything! GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever... Go ahead, back up to the RAM disk. I dare you! GOLFER--Yells Fore!, Takes Five, Writes Down Three. Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. Graduate of the Darth Vader School of Personnel Management. Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts! Guts: putting the name SYSOP in your twit filter. HA! I kill me! Happiness is a warm modem. Hat? What hat? That's a helipad for munchkins. - Guinan Have time to waste? Get Microsoft Windows 3.1! Have you crashed your Windows today? Have you thanked your SysOp today? HD failure: (A)bort (R)etry (N)egotiate (C)ry He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly. He is almost a statesman. He lies well. He who dies with the most toys is still dead. He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. He who throws mud loses ground. He's ALIVE, Jim. Where did I go wrong? He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his watch! He's DEAD, Jim! Go to Sick Bay and get the Maggot Master! He's DEAD, Jim. Get his ears. - Spock He's dead, Jim. Kick him if you don't believe me. He's DEAD, Jim. Tell the Klingons that dinner is served. He's DEAD, Jim. You get his teeth. - Bones McCoy, DDS Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned. Hello.. Incontinence Hotline.. Can you hold? Help! My computer is holding me prisoner... Help--I'm being held captive by my modem! Hey Rocky, watch me pull a tribble out of my hat! Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's Hand Grenades I throw! High thoughts must have high language. Aristophanes Hold on- wait, maybe the answer's looking for you. How can you be deaf with ears like that? -McCoy How do I set my phaser to tickle? How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder. How to defend yourself against a Banana. I *almost* stole a tagline! I'm so ashamed! I am a man: nothing human is alien to me. Terrence I am become Death, the Destroyer of worlds  Oppenheimer I am immortal, at least till I die. I am looking for an honest man. Diogenes (325 BC) I am Popeye of Borg. Prepare to be askimilgrated. I call a fig a fig, a spade a spade. Menander (292 BC) I can't tell if I'm a kingpin or a pauper! I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse. I could be chasing an untamed ornithoid without cause. I DON'T EAT ANYTHING WITH A FACE! I don't have any taglines to give you. Go away. I don't just tempt fate - I give it the finger. I don't kill my enemies: I slime them! Odo I don't steal taglines, I replicate them. I don't want to be a cynic, but it's hard... I drank what?!? Socrates I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts. Virgil (19 BC) I Feel Better Now. I got lost in thought. It was an unfamiliar territory. I had a life once... but now I have a modem. I HATE it when it does that! I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it. I have found power in the mysteries of thought. Euripides I have to stop now. My fingers are getting hoarse. I is knot dain bramaged!!! I know and I know you know I know. I know on which side my bread is buttered. John Heywood I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one. I need some new taglines. This one is getting old. I need Windows like a haemophiliac needs heart surgery! I played poker w/ tarot cards-got a flush & 5 people died I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO. I shave with Occam's Razor. I smell a rat. Did you bake it or fry it? I survived torture. I'm ready to date Lwaxana. - Picard I think he's a couple bushels shy of a full crop I think he's a couple keys short of a concert piano. I think he's a couple of cans short of a six-pack. I think he's a couple of ticks past the noon whistle. I think he's a couple sharps short of B Major. I think he's a few bars short of a finished symphony. I think he's a few bricks short of a whole wall. I think he's a few bytes short of a checksum. I think he's a few channels short of Basic Cable I think he's a few croutons short of a garden salad. I think he's a few pipes short of a church organ. I think he's a few strings short of a violin section. I think he's one taco short of a combination platter I think he's playing his oboe with just one reed. I think he's playing solitaire with a pinochle deck. I think he's playing the lead violin part on a viola. I think he's playing the old five-string guitar. I think I think, therefore I think I am. I think. I think, therefore I am... dangerous, that is... I think, therefore I'm overqualified !!! I use Windows... on my car, on my house, on my... I was sane once... didn't like it. I was the next door kid's imaginary friend. I went mad once. Did me a world of good. I wish I was a Klingon. I want a lumpy head. I wish life had a scroll-back buffer. I won't use Windows, I won't use Windows, I won't... I would like to buy a fish liscence, please. I'll panic if I bloody well want to! I'm a analog man in a digital world. I'm a brain in a vat. Are you one too? I'm a consultant because I'd rather be self-unemployed. I'm a figment of your imagination. I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK! I'm a workaholic who resisted a rest. I'm as confused as a baby at a topless bar! I'm Bugs Bunny of Borg. What's up Collective? I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing. I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact. I'm firm. You're obstinate. He's a pigheaded fool. I'm flexible... just don't change anything. I'm going to k-k-k-k-k-k-kill you K-k-k-k-k-k-ken! I'm gonna plead insanity, what about you? I'm in search of myself. Have you seen me anywhere? I'm just a peripheral visionary. I'm just here for moral support. Ignore the gun. I'm lost, but I'm still making pretty good time! I'm mad at you because you were someone else. I'm mooning you now, you just can't see me. I'm more humble than you are! I'm much too young to feel this damned old I'm neither for, nor against apathy I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing. I'm not a crook; I'm ethically challenged. I'm not a minority. I'm an outnumbered majority! I'm not a real sysop, I just play one on TV. I'm not a witch doctor-- I'm only a folk medic. I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV. I'm not arrogant, I'm RIGHT! I'm not confused, I'm just well-mixed. I'm not dead yet! I think I'll go for a walk. I'm not dead, I'm metabolically challenged. I'm not lost, I'm locationally challenged. I'm not lost... I'm locationally challenged. I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am. I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right! I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you that? I'm not tense, just terribly A*L*E*R*T. I'm only here for the salad bar. I'm only paranoid because everyone's against me. I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want? I'm practicing assertiveness. Do you think that's okay? I'm really sorry about always saying I'm really sorry. I'm so broke I can't even pay attention I'm solidly behind whichever side eventually wins. I'm sorry, Dave. I can't do that. I'm all out of Taglines I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes. I'm the leader, which way did they go? I'm usually awake near the end of the day. I'm warning you! One step closer and I'll drop carrier! I'm working on my 2nd $million... Gave up on the 1st. I've been scheduled for a karma transplant. I've got a Mickey Mouse PC with a Goofy operating system. IBM: When you care enough to spend the very most. If R is Reverse, how come D is FORWARD? If a program is useful, it must be changed. If a tree fell on a florist,would he make a sound? If all else fails, read the directions! If all goes well, you've overlooked something! If all is not lost, then where is it? If all the world's a stage, I sure got lousy seats. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. If at first you don't succeed, call it Ver 1.0. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules! If at first you don't succeed, cry. If at first you don't succeed, fake it!! If at first you don't succeed, forget it. If at first you don't succeed, join the club. If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards. If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft. If at first you don't suceed, you're about normal. If Clinton is the answer, the question must be stupid. If Corn Oil Is Made From Corn, What's Baby Oil Made From? If flies couldn't fly, would they be called walks? If guns are outlawed, can we use swords? If I buy the steel wool, can you knit me a BMW? If I follow you home, will you keep me? If I save the whales, where do I keep them? If I save time, when do I get it back ? If I want your opinion I'll beat it out of you! If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? If it ain't broke, hit it harder. If it ain't broke, wait a day or two!! If it ain't one thing, it's two or three... If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing. If it was easy, it wouldn't be any fun. If it works, I didn't do it. If it works, rip it apart and find out why! If it works, something went wrong. If it's not Scottish IT'S CRRAAAPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If it's obvious, it's obviously wrong. If it's tourist season, where do I get a license? If it's working OK, then something's GOTTA be wrong! If life is but a dream please wake me up. If love is blind, lingerie makes great braille. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If only Einstein had a 486DX-33.... If plugging it in doesn't help, turn it on. If puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns. If rich, eat when you please. If poor, eat when you can. If speed scares you, buy Windows 3.1! If the shoe fits, its ugly. If we left the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy! If Windows sucked it would be good for something. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. If you can't be famous, try infamous. If you can't elucidate, obfuscate. If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll laugh at you. If you don't think women are explosive, drop one!! If you hear an Onion ring, please answer it! If you really want to know, you won't ask me. If you redo a batch file, is it a son of a batch? If you save the world too often, it begins to expect it. If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast. If you throw a cat out the car window, is it kitty litter? If you wake up Sleepy & Grumpy, you must be Snow White. If you're trying to drive me crazy, you're too late! If you've seen one nuclear war, you've seen 'em all. Ignorance is Temporary ... STUPID is Forever! Illiterate? Write for FREE HELP! In a fit of confusion, Spock uses Scotty as toilet tissue In adversity remember to keep an even mind. Horace (8 BC) Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF Iraqi rifle for sale. Never fired. Dropped once. Is it weird in here, or is it just me? Is sex in a cornfield Porn on the cob? Is there life before coffee? It doesn't work, but I'm working on it. It is better to copulate than never. It is far safer to be feared than loved. Machiavelli It makes a difference whose ox is gored. Martin Luther It takes a wise man to recognize a wise man. Xenophanes It's been lovely, but I have to scream now. It's Ensign Pillsbury! He's BREAD, Jim! It's getting better all the time. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. It's the Ugliness Men Mr. Horrible! It's time for them to go. It's too bad ignorance isn't painful. Its GOOD to be the King! Its my tagline! I stole it first. Its not a stolen tagline, it's just previously viewed Jean-Luc Picard and Mister Clean: Separated at birth? Jesus saves... but Lindros scores on the rebound! Jim watches in amazement as Spock's ears sprout broccoli. Just when I make ends meet, someone moves one end. Keyboard error or no keyboard, F1 to continue Keyboard is unattached. Press F10 to continue Keyboard locked..Press F1 to continue Keyboard not found, think F1 to continue. Keyboard: Used for entering errors into a system. Kill the wabbit!!! Kill the wabbit!!! Know a good chiropractor? My computer has a slipped disk. Ladies & Gentlemen, Elvis has left the building. Lady Macbeth to her dog: Out, damned Spot! Law is order, and good law is good order. Aristotle Leave no stone unturned. Euripides (431 BC) Let each man exercise the art he knows. Aristophanes Liars when they speak the truth are not believedAristotle Life is one long struggle in the dark. Lucretius (55 BC) Life without learning is death. Cicero Life would be easier if I had the source code. Life's a joke, and we're the punchline. Life... don't talk to me about life. Light speed! Ridiculous speed! Ludicrous speed! Lonely, Worf seeks a Dog/Turtle hybrid for companionship. Love comes for you, and you follow. Love is grand. Divorce is fifty grand. Mac screen message: Like, dude, something went wrong. Macintosh: Computer with training wheels you can't remove MAFIA DOS..Ey'What's A Matta You? Wanna Try Again (Y/n)? Make friends with sysops; page them at 3:00 am. Man is by nature a political animal. Aristotle Mandatory tagline not required for this message. Many hands make light work. John Heywood (1497-1580) Master of images, songs shine a light on you. May the Farce be with you! May the Farce be with you! Meaning of life: Member, the Society for Creative Anachronism. Member, the Society for Creative Anachronism. MEMORY ERROR: Now what? Men willingly believe what they wish. Julius Caesar Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence. Millihelen: Amount of beauty required to launch one ship. Minds, like parachutes, work only when open. minimalist tagline Misfortune shows those who are not friends. Aristotle Mister Worf, show these children the airlock. Picard Mbius strippers have no rear end. Mobius strippers never show you their back side. Modems are proof that people enjoy torturing themsevles Monday is the root of all evil! More in the mind than the body this feeling. Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there. Move your vowels every day or you'll get consonated. Mr Spock wears vulcanized rubbers. MR. BILL . . .Ooooohhh Nooooooooooo{ NO CARRIER Mr. Sco*t! G*t th*s* trib*les out*of m* ta*lin* n*w!!! MS-DOS..MR DOS's sister -- DR DOS..MS DOS's Gynecologist Multitask- Make twice the mistakes in the time. Mumbling to himself, Picard figures out the cheese grater My appetite comes to me while eating. Michel de Montaigne My AUTOEXEC.BAT is a vampire. My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier. My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician. My God! It's full of stars! My God! They've gone to Plaid! My Hovercraft is full of Eels. My mama done tol' me... My modem isn't slow- it's baudily challenged! My mother was the tour guide for Guilt Trips... My other computer is even slower. My other tagline is a Porsche. My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird... My train of thought is a Mag-Lev. Nature does nothing uselessly. Aristotle Never dare to judge until you've heard all. Euripides Never judge a book by its movie. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Never take a beer to a job interview. New book: 101 Ways to Brown-Nose to Success. New campaign promise: Babble fish for all New mail not found. Start whine pout sequence? (Y/N) Nightowls are _real_ people. Nine times out of ten the statisticians are wrong. Nixon's Principal: If 2 wrongs don't make a right, try 3. No bathroom? Just boldly go where no man has gone before! No falsehood lingers into old age. Sophocles (406 BC) No human thing is of serious importance. Plato No man loves life like him that's growing old. Sophocles No! No! Nurse!!! I said prick his boil! Nobody knows the Tribbles I've seen. None of you exist; my Sysop types all this in! Nostalgia just ain't what it used to be ... Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute. Not every soil can bear all things. Virgil (19 BC) Nothing can be created from nothing. Lucretius (55 BC) Nothing endures but change. Heraclitus (480 BC) Nothing is so simple that it can't get screwed up. O.K to coninue?? Of all animals, the boy is most unmanageable. Plato Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy nacturations are to me... Oh sure! But what's the speed of dark? Oh, very good Worf. Eat any good books lately? On the other hand, you have different fingers. Once again, Odo wins the Twister championship. Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it/Homer Once more unto the breach, dear friends  Henry V One swallow does not make a summer. Aristotle Only one good: Knowledge. One evil: Ignorance. Socrates Open doors we find our way; we look, we see, we smile. Open Mouth, Insert Foot, Chew Carefully Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally. OPERATER ERROR.. (A)bort, (R)etry, (S)hoot... Originality is the art of concealing your source... Ouch! And I mean it. Overcome by jealousy, Data dismembers the Energizer Bunny oׯ** <--- Tribbles living near Three Mile Island. <- Tribbles on a windy day Pack up your Tribbles in your old kit bag. Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks. Piety requries us to honor truth above friends. Aristotle Pizza: Nature's perfect food. Please return stewardess to original upright position. Please steal this tagline, and spread it around the world. Pleasure is the start and end of living happily. Epicurus Politically Incorrect -- and damn proud of it! Politics: Poly (many) + Ticks (blood-sucking parasites) Polluting New Jersey... like who's gonna notice? Power corrupts, but we still need electricity. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat. Press all the keys at once to continue... Press any key - EXCEPT THAT ONE!!! Press any key to continue or any other key to quit Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd. Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots. PumpDon'tWork'CauseTheVandalTookTheHandle Putting on his coroner's cap, Data enjoys a rotten corpse Rainy days and automatic weapons get me down. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. Reality is blinking again...call for repairs. Reality is for people with no grasp of fantasy. Relativism stinks- you can't call anyone a moron! Religious error: (A)tone, (R)epent, (I)mmolate? Rid yourself of doubt, or should you... Riker to Enterprise. Beam down Troi and a six-pack. Riker's trombone backfires, creating a new universe. Riker's trombone backfires, creating a tagline. ROM wasn't built in a day. Rome was not built in one day. John Heywood (1497-1580) Ruling a country is like cooking a small fish. Lao-tzu Russia has the Moscow Circus; WE have CONGRESS! Sado-necro-beastiality is beating a dead horse. SANITY.SYS corrupt. MIND lost. Save the wales! Nuke Greenpeace instead! Scott me up Beamie! Scotty is smoking the dilithium crystals again, Jim Scotty: What is it? Data: It is... it is green. Second star to the right & straight on till morning... Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow! Horace (8 BC) Self-deceit is easy; what one wishes one believes is true SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory... Sex on TV can't hurt you...unless you fall off. Sexy: Uses feather. Kinky: Uses entire chicken. She was using the landscape to hide herself! She's ALIVE, Jim! Pass the Trojans! Shell to DOS....Come in, DOS.....Do you Copy? Shh! I have to use my incomplete, divided attention here! Silly question! Sincerity is the Way. (Mencius, 372-289 B.C.) Sir! Romulan warbird decloaki NO CARRIER SLEEP: that fleeting moment just before the alarm. Snorting wildly, Worf actually smells his own feet. So what's the matter with MY taglines? Spam for me, with a side of crunchy frog. Spock at Xmas: A pencil sharpener for my ears! Thanx, Jim Spock, quick, I smell tribbles! Spock, you are such a putz! Spock/Data 1996: The Logical Choice STAND BACK! I don't know how big this gets! STATUS QUO is Latin for the mess we're in. STAY ALERT!TRUST NO ONE!KEEP YOUR LASER HANDY! Stay back! I have a modem and I know how to use it!!!! Stop smirking Number One. Strangely, Data finds himself relating to heavy metal. Stranger in a strange country. Sophocles (406 BC) STUPIDITY is NOT a HANDICAP! Park elsewhere! Success lies in achieving the top of the foodchain. Support Mental Health. Or I'll kill you. Support your local medical examiner: die strangely. Syntax? Why not, they tax everything else SYSOP: The guy laughing at your typing. Sysoping: More fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer T'greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves. Sophocles Tagline explodes, destroys BBS. Film at 11! Talk is cheap. Using a modem gets expensive. Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Euripides Ted Kennedy's Bumper Sticker: My other car is underwater. Temporary suspension of disbelief is a wonderful thing. Tennis is irrelevant. - Bjorn Borg That Rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! That's not a tagline! It's Odo! Sisko The basis of a democratic state is liberty. Aristotle The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity. The company of just and righteous men is best. Euripides The Computer is impressed with Data's hardware. The cost of feathers has risen. Now even down is up. The die is cast. (proverb quoted by Julius Caesar). The END (and more than you wanted to know) The end is near... but wait for the sequel! The freedom of poetic license. Cicero (43 BC) The good have no need of an advocate. Phocion (317 BC) The great man is he who does not lose his child's-heart. The guy sure looks like plant food to me! The Ides of March have come. Julius Caesar The Law is your friend..but watch out for the Lawyers. The magic of Windoze: Turning your 486 into an XT. The majority isn't silent- the government is deaf! The moon is made of a green cheese. J.Heywood (1497-1580) The more I know about WINDOWS, the more I like DesqView! The no-mind not-thinks no-thoughts about no-things. The only good Mac is a big Mac! The Sun is at the center of the Universe. Copernicus The thoughtless are rarely wordless. The UARTs can't take much more o' this Captain! The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates The World: A comedy for thinkers; a tragedy for feelers. There are no teachers -- only students. There are two sides to every question. Protagoras(410 BC) There is no benefit in the gifts of a bad man. Euripides There is no fool like an old fool. J.Heywood (1497-1580) There is no happiness where there is no wisdom. Sophocles There's more to BBSing than meets the modem. There's nothing more demoralizing than money. Sophocles There's safety in numbers: F16, F11, B2, F15.... Thereisonlysomuchyoucansayusingjustfiftyletters. They aren't evil...just stupid. Thinking quickly Spock opens a can of peas with his ears. This hitteth the nail on the head. J. Heywood (1597-1580) THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!! This is Elvis. Any messages for me? This product was cruelly tested on small, furry animals. This Tag Line no verb. Those whom God wishes to destroy, are first made mad. Time cancels young pain. Euripides (431 BC) Time eases all things. Sophocles (406 BC) To be human without passion is to be dead. To boldly go where no one has gone before. To him who is in fear, everything rustles. Sophocles To teach is to learn Japanese Proverb Too little sex makes you repeat yourself redundantly. Toodleoo, go with God, and don't take any wooden nickels. Took an hour to bury the cat. Damn thing kept moving. Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore... Trespassers will be shot; Survivors will be shot again! Tribble math: * + * = *********************************** Tribble math: * + Grain = *********** Tribbles - $5.00 for all you can pile on top of you. Tried to play my shoehorn... all I got were footnotes! True Multitasking = 3 PCs and a chair with wheels! Truth, like surgery, may hurt. But it cures.- Han Suyin Two heads are better than one. John Heywood (1497-1580) Two may keep counsel, if two be away. Heywood (1497-1580) Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. Typed on my Ultra Megger Wallet Whammer. Unable to load REALITY.SYS; Invalid parameter: /UTOPIA Under every stone lurks a politician. Aristophanes Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight. Using PKZIP Version 2.04zzzzzzzzzzz Virus scanner: Windows found. Remove? (Y) Vote Republican, it's easier than thinking. Vultures only fly with carrion luggage. Waiter: Unemployed actor WARNING: Do not attempt this at home. Was Jimi Hendrix's modem a Purple Hayes? Washing Windows is better than running them. Waste not fresh tears over old griefs. Euripides (431 BC) Watch it - you're trying my infinite patience. Ways to skin a cat #27: Use an electric belt sander. We are all driven into the same fold. Horace (8 BC) We are but dust and shadow. Horace (8 BC) We are on a roll! Cavorting on the Butter! We have engaged the Borg. The wedding will be Friday. We live, not as we wish to, but as we can. Menander 292bc We look for things. Things that make us go. We need more unemployed politicians. We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing. We're off to see the wizard.... Wesley Crusher, please report to airlock 5! Wesley's temper tantrum: I want a new universe for Xmas What are you gonna do? Bleed on me? What CAN you get a nudist for Christmas? What do you mean you formated the cat?!? What fools these mortals be. What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone? What is food to one, is to others bitter poison/Lucretius What is the avg. air speed of an un-laden swallow? What soon grows old? Gratitude. Aristotle What you do not want done to you, do not do to others. What's all this talk about hellfire & Dalmations? What's another word for thesaurus? When asked What is a friend, Zeno ans'd Another I. When in doubt, mumble! When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns. When truth entails tremendous ruin, lies are pardoned. When you know, you know; when you don't know, admit it. When your computer has a virus, DON'T use chicken soup! Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket? While drunk, O'Brien builds a leprechaun transporter. While there's life, there's hope. Cicero (43 BC) Whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows... Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English? Why are elves chaotic? Brownian motion. Why are there no blue M&M's? Why are there so many actors in this movie? Why bother phoning a psychic? Let them phone you! Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free? Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why do they call them briefings when they take SO LONG? Why do those that pay the least complain the most? Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy. Why is abbreviated such a long word? Why is it called rush hour if it's so damn slow? Why is there a watermelon on the bandsaw? Why yes, they are Bugle Boy beans. Windows doesn't kill you, it's the glass when it crashes. Windows Ice Cream: Hoggin DOS WINDOWS MULTITASKS! (in a DesqView window) Windows to 486/50 mhz cpu: Don't rush me, don't rush me... Windows: an 80486 to XT Conversion Kit. Windows: A cute clown suit for DOS. Windows: big, expensive, pretty virus. Windows: The best $89 solitare game you can buy. Wisdom outweighs any wealth. Sophocles (406 BC) Women: You can't live with them, pass the beer nuts- Norm Wonderful music. My compliments to the clef. Word is a shadow of deed. Democritus (400 BC) Worf becomes anrgy at the thought of brushing his teeth. Worf hides for days knowing his bumps have gone flat. Worf: Shields failing! Picard: Give 'em more homework Work out your salvation w/diligence. Buddha - last words W [0M 䏀. GV mM0 D. Yoooouuuuu'rreee Irrelevant!  Daffy Duck of Borg You *must* be kidding! You can lead a man to ponder; you cannot make him think! You Cannot Escape! Resistance Is Futile! You cannot see the wood for the trees. John Heywood You cannot teach a crab to walk straight. Aristophanes You gotta know when to code 'em, know when to modem. You know how to win a victory, but not how to use it. You mean, we have ANOTHER modem to feed? You pathetic, puny, puking, putrid puddle of poodle piss! You were a stranger to sorrow; thus fate has cursed you. You wouldn't happen to have anything less... ducky? Your descendants shall gather your fruits. Virgil Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage Yours is no disgrace. ^^ <- Viking Tribble _ <- Tribble Meets Godzilla _ _ _ <- Tribbles, after fighting with Godzilla _________._________ this is me looking at you. -------- <-- Tribble-kabob <-- Baby Tribble with bottle h  mM gs - Any questions? <- Hare Krishna Tribbles Darn! Only one throroughbred Tribble left!